my english name is...

no i still don't have an English name.

i've been asked way too many times why i don't have one. is it a mandatory to have one? will i be too Chinese if i don't have one? do people who have English names speak better English than i do? i beg to differ - especially with the last question(and i don't mean that i speak FANTASTIC BOMBASTIC GRAMMAR FREE Engrish horh). i'm sure i don't need to say where exactly this place is, but most, if not all, of the people there think that they need to give or invent funny English names for themselves just because British colonized their country for 100 years.

trust me. if you are ever on a transit in that country, just simply approach any locals(below 40 years old), ANYONE - be it the officer, airport staff, store helper, etc - you'll see how right i am. this is why, Russell Peters made a joke on this issue, "YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN ANTHONY." OK, lets give them a benefit of a doubt, probably Anthony DOES exist in his birth certificate.

ok, so much of talking bout them, i'd like to say why did i bring this topic up. my fullname is Teh Yen Chi(not The - fucking auto correct)and i always introduce myself as Yen Chi. yes. and it is a major problem to English educated people. first they pronounced it right, then few minutes later it became Yen Zhi and half an hour later, it became, "What's your name again hah?"

i don't blame them. my job, we're required to memorize our premium passengers' family names before the flight takes off and i have problem remembering German, French, Russian, Indonesian(ONE OF THE TOUGHEST) names. however, i am working in a country no much difference from my own country, in terms of mother tongue, and all of the Chinese here can speak better Mandarin than i do. and my name is damn Cina. i rest my case.

don't get me wrong, i'm not one bit offended that people suggested that i should make things 'easier' for others(oh rightt..). when i was drinking with my colleagues and they were coming up with NUMBERS of English names for me, so i just sat and listened. one of them said, "Chi, if i hadn't flown with you before, i wouldn't have remember your name. sooo.. *burps whisky* since we have so much time here, we'll decide an English name for you. you look like a..";

Sabrina, Rachel, Ivy, Helen, Alexis, Jennifer, Dorothy, Natasha, Hally, Georgia, Nicky, Sharon, etc..

in the end, they settled for Jennifer and they kept going, "DO YO THANG ON DA FLO, J.LO" - whenever the song 'On The Floor' is played. there, my name miraculously became J.Lo.. i mean, Jennifer. but only for them!

to be honest, i used to have one(YES I ADMIT). it was Roxanne. and i feel like killing myself. now. out in the cold. thank God i've overcome that stage and stuck to Yen Chi. call me sentimental, my sisters and female cousins all have similar names - we're all Teh Yen's and the boys are Teh Heng's. and the main reason i only use my Chinese name is that Mom told me, my late grandmother(Dad's mother) was the one who named most of us and i was one of them. she also named my younger brother before she could even be there to see him. "if you ever have a boy after Chi, name him Heng Kian" - of course, she pronounced it in Chinese. and popped the '92 idiot.

i don't mean to offend people who already HAVE English names but this is one of the essence i find that is missing from the Chinese heritage. the invisible strong bond between families. when i was in school, people would know that i am related to my sisters and cousins by our names. 'blood is thicker than water' as they say. now. 'originality overrides tradition'.

my point of this post is not to criticize people's names(i think my name is being made fun more often than not). its just the sudden realization that what is used to be honorable before is now worthless. i know not many would have the same thinking as me, my friend even commented, "do you have nothing else to think of that you have to work your brain out on this small matter?!"

small matter? is losing of one's roots a small matter? then what is a big matter? your iPhone getting slower after updating to iOS5? anyway people, just a food for thought. i'm Teh Yen Chi, a proud Cina.

PS: Dear Future Husband, my parents are gonna be naming my kids and if you are planning to include an English name for them, i'm still gonna call them as my parents name them. too bad for you.

PPS: seriously, my iPod is getting more laggy after iOS5. APPLE, DO YOU READ ME?! HALP.

* everyone wants to turn back time, but i believe none can survive without WiFi *