You Better Start Lovin' ChiChi!

walking on thorns and petals of roses.

2011-12-24T03:06:00.000+08:00

This last post of the year was handwritten on a Hilton Hotel paper, somewhere around early this month when I was staying in Sydney for the night. I remembered clearly of the whole surroundings and how tired I was. I was suppose to post this after my trip back but with too much changes on my roster and so little time to sit down in front of my laptop, I've procrastinated till 3 weeks later.

Initially it was a post of how crappy 2011 has been for me and how I couldn't wait for 2012 to take over. But it was today's flight(I just came back a couple of hours ago), that changed my whole perception. Now I've decided to rewrite the entry, despite how much my body is screaming for help now, cos I need to keep this grateful essence that I have at this moment.

No, 2011 is still a crap for me. I don't even know where to start. Few to list down, I've had bad break outs which affects my job, my relationship went down the drain, my family back home is going through some drama shite and I can't be there to make it any better, my weight has been really unstable even though I'm eating as much as I could, I didn't get to stay with my best friends as planned, etc. Honestly, if I can recall them right now at this moment, but if I could, this post is gonna stretch out to a point where your scrolling bar on the right is gonna go missing. It had been a horrendous year for me.

In fact, my major breakdown was when Mom SMS me when I was in London, regarding my grandma, my last grandparent. It came to me as a shock cos I spoke to her the day before my London and she even cheerfully asked if I've eaten, what am I doing and where am I. Life moves so fast. Due to that, I made my way back home after the trip to send my last respect till the day of her burial. It wasn't easy to realize that I will not be able to hear her voice, embrace her hand, visit her(stuck to the Taiwanese Hokkien series), speak to her in Hokkien. Specially Mom. But Mom always console us(and herself too), "She has lived a better life than GuaKong, seen more things than he had, escaped from numbers of near-death experience. Let her walk(she has difficulties in walking) to somewhere more beautiful."

Obviously I couldn't let such event affect me cos I know that I will have no one to talk to. Yes my friends have been angels but whining hasn't really been in me. I couldn't bear to carry these unnecessary weighs, just like how I grew tired of having grudges and animosity. To add on, I had been flying back to back without enough rest just to tire myself out so I could just lie in bed and not think of anything. I was almost losing my belief and faith.

Few days ago, I dreamt of God(OK, I don't mean to sound religious)and also an old man, who is dead few years ago. It was really horrifying dream that kept me awake all night cos I don't dare to sleep back. Then my friend told me that it could be a sign that a part of what I believe in is dying/dead. Didn't really believe that but guess it was something I refused to give in.

However, today's flight had been eventful and definitely put my faith back in track. I couldn't really explain how it had affect me so much but all I know is, I was back to being grateful after a long run of disappointment. It is really not worth for me to look back at this year and labelled it as The Worst Year of My 25 Years of Living. I had been making too many mistakes but the one thing I did which is definitely right for me is, to walk away from a mistake that will drag me down to my lowest point.

Usually I will recap good and bad days of the year then I will determine how has the year been for me. Not anymore. I will determine on how much I've learned and how I'll change for better. I remembered one incident that happened just this year, when I chatted with my sister while driving over a personal secret, she said that she is very glad that I've grown up and able to talk to her as an adult. Sometimes I wonder if things will be different if I hadn't move to SG? Is moving to SG the main reason why I've pushed myself? Will I ever see things the way I am seeing right now? All I can say is, this has to be my bravest and best choice I've ever made.

Now I recalled my dinner in Sydney with R, he asked me, "What is your definition of a good year?"

I couldn't really answer him that but he replied, "There is no such good thing as a good year, so as a bad year. For as long as you live and still able to overcome obstacles, there is only a victorious year."

Dear God, I don't even have the strength to read my entry again before I post it. Forgive me for any grammatical error but hey, GIMME CHANCE LAH. Before that, guys, have a very Merry X'mas and may you have a wonderful 2012(just as my awesome January 2012 roster - FUCK YEAH!)

* be grateful at every time you wake up *

15 Fucking Crap Facts

2011-12-06T00:42:00.004+08:00

here are some truth about me, some which i've known and some that my friends actually highlighted to me before;

1) I always have these dreams that I have an awesome singing voice(when in reality.. you should really hear my voice)and probably these are all due to my addiction to Glee. In fact, I hope my LIFE is like Glee, where you can just sing and dance at the spur of the moment. Of course, if I were to do this, funny stares from passers-by isn't what I'm worried about - I'm more worried bout being STOMP-ed or YouTube-d with a title, 'Glee Addict Causes Noise Pollution' or 'Can Someone Please Mute This Tone Deaf Bitch'. Yes, I am extremely envious of people who can sing so fucking well(damn you, Glee casts) and which made me HATE going to KTV with my friends.
2) I was known as 'secretive', 'closeted', 'expressionless', etc you name it. I didn't know bout this till I recently read my high school diary, which me and my high school best friends shared - a book where we exchanged views of each other. of course, it didn't turn out well and I've concluded that diary should only be written and read by the author. Someone whom I used to be with said that, "although we've been together for more than 6 months, I don't think I've ever known you". Bull crap. If anyone says that to you, it's a total bullshit. It's not that I am being a closed book or always pretending to be someone else - I just don't like to be fully open, even with the people whom I care. Cos I know, a mystery has more excitement to be unfold than a pair of spread open legs.
3) I curse a lot - to a point that I find that it became part of my vocabulary. It can be in English, Malay, Hokkien, Cantonese but I think again, who made the word 'fuck' or 'tiu' as vulgarity? I don't think I am COOL or hip if I use a lot of vulgarities in my speech - as the matter of fact, these are the real speech printed in my mind before I speak. So yeah, I speak my mind and my mind has one helluva dirty mouth. Honestly, that is one thing that some people might find me very crude but that is something I can't(and will never plan to) change. so suck it.
4) I am extremely random. Sometimes when a group of friends are talking about a topic, I'll laugh to myself(if its a joke) and interrupt, "Eh eh, sorry guys but this just suddenly pop in my mind.. Fucking funny.. *breathless laughs for a good one minute and they will end up asking me to tell them later after I catch my breath again*". Apart from being randomly unfunny, I'll talk about something sentimental or deep - whom I'd like to name her, Sen-chi-tive. Once again guys, I'll be ignored as always and I'm sure Chia and Ili would agree with me, seeing how many times they've been ignoring me whenever 3 of us are talking. Fuckas.
5) Hate to admit to this but I hate picking on sides. Unless its between George Clooney and Richard Gere. God, even for THAT, I'll need Einstein to help me. Well, blame it on my Saint Benefit-of-Doubt-Giver and Pope Put-Yourself-In-Their-Shoes. Sometimes it gets even tougher if the two important persons in your life are against each other, and you trying to drill the reasoning behind their actions into their brains, backfired they'll scream, "You are supposed to be on MY side". Hey, if you both are reading this, please. There is no sides in a circle - circle of trust(Jack Brynes).
6) I have no fears for death, heights, spiders, speed, but I'll shake like a little bunny if anything with wings, like birds, flaps anywhere near me. Don't ask me why. Even butterfly scares me sometimes.
7) I love Chinese songs and I don't fucking understand them. My unhelpful friends always tell me, "it's very hard to translate. Cos the meaning of the song will be much less meaningful if it's translated to English". You selfish creeps. I HATE JIU. Thank God for Google's "Translate this page" button. It is less accurate but at least I sort of know what the song is about. As usual. Girl-boy-relationship-gone-bad, secret-crush-died-without-the-girl-knowing, star-crossed-lovers. Probably it is the same way we are looking at new English songs; you-have-my-child, booze-guns-gangs-money-tities, girl-grows-stronger-after-finding-out-her-man-cheated-on-her.
8) Though I don't have an awesome singing voice, I'd like to proudly declare(LIKE A BOSS) that I have awesome sense of directions but I suck in remembering the streets' names. I can only remember the stores and other landmarks but never the names of the streets. Only discovered this when I was walking around in London, looking for a particular place and I couldn't tell the guy the street's name, "I recall there is a HUGE ass Boots store there". I can sensed the guy just iron stamped 'IDIOT' on my forehead. True story.
9) I call my big human bolster, Daniel(Henney) - I guess those who came to my house before and saw it might have known. No I don't hump it.
10) Cats to dogs. They've got style. Full stop.
11) I am not a selective listener but I have a selective memory. For instance, I will listen when a person pours his/her heart out and I will be very empathetic. I will remember the whole story until a certain expiry date, and so happen if I bump into that person after the due date, I'll ask how's your cat doing? - when the actual story is about her dog. I am so sorry guys but hey, I can be a very good secret keeper cos I will forget it within a week(just pray I don't go on CNN during that period of time).
12) My friends think I'm weird cos I read self-help books like 'How to Talk to Anyone'. WELL I DO HAVE PROBLEM TALKING TO PEOPLE. COS THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
13) I feel uncomfortable if I am standing next to people shorter than me. That's for being in an industry where 90% of my flying colleagues are taller than me and people always seem to be questioning bout my height. So being next to someone shorter, seems new to me.
14) Secretly, I don't think Michael Jackson is dead(or don't want to believe that). I STILL LOVE YOU MJ.
15) Even back in high school days, I always have one motto - everything has an answer, and if you know it, you'll know it. if you don't, no point staring at the paper hoping for miracle to shine on it with gold written answers. just do what you know and walk away. my friends would just curse at me, "CB, the exam only started 30 minutes ago!" Just like how I applied it to my life, do what you know and walk away - whether it is gonna be a good or bad result, just thank your lucky stars, that you know the answer then.

there is more to list bout me but I can only come up with so much. random of me huh, and such full of crap to come up with such post? well, refer back to Number 4.

* to be accepted is to accept yourself first. but the world can go fuck themselves *

being a friend in need.

2011-11-14T00:54:00.004+08:00

"some people don't know what they want, but you and i; we both do. we know what we want. we will eliminate those who can't accommodate to our desire. at the end of the day, we are totally blinded by what we want, instead of looking for what we need. and the scariest thing is, what we need might never be there anymore for us tomorrow."

"so your advice is.. to grab hold of the first opportunity that comes by?"

"no. just to tell you, the world is a fucked up place and i believe that when we die, God will scream thunderously, 'you've just got PUNKED' and show us our own version of PUNKED. Satan told me that in my sleep."

urmm.. Mal. honestly. you need a girlfriend. or a priest. fast.

things emo shite can make you say. true story.

* the early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. *

my english name is...

2011-11-12T01:54:00.002+08:00

no i still don't have an English name.

i've been asked way too many times why i don't have one. is it a mandatory to have one? will i be too Chinese if i don't have one? do people who have English names speak better English than i do? i beg to differ - especially with the last question(and i don't mean that i speak FANTASTIC BOMBASTIC GRAMMAR FREE Engrish horh). i'm sure i don't need to say where exactly this place is, but most, if not all, of the people there think that they need to give or invent funny English names for themselves just because British colonized their country for 100 years.

trust me. if you are ever on a transit in that country, just simply approach any locals(below 40 years old), ANYONE - be it the officer, airport staff, store helper, etc - you'll see how right i am. this is why, Russell Peters made a joke on this issue, "YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN ANTHONY." OK, lets give them a benefit of a doubt, probably Anthony DOES exist in his birth certificate.

ok, so much of talking bout them, i'd like to say why did i bring this topic up. my fullname is Teh Yen Chi(not The - fucking auto correct)and i always introduce myself as Yen Chi. yes. and it is a major problem to English educated people. first they pronounced it right, then few minutes later it became Yen Zhi and half an hour later, it became, "What's your name again hah?"

i don't blame them. my job, we're required to memorize our premium passengers' family names before the flight takes off and i have problem remembering German, French, Russian, Indonesian(ONE OF THE TOUGHEST) names. however, i am working in a country no much difference from my own country, in terms of mother tongue, and all of the Chinese here can speak better Mandarin than i do. and my name is damn Cina. i rest my case.

don't get me wrong, i'm not one bit offended that people suggested that i should make things 'easier' for others(oh rightt..). when i was drinking with my colleagues and they were coming up with NUMBERS of English names for me, so i just sat and listened. one of them said, "Chi, if i hadn't flown with you before, i wouldn't have remember your name. sooo.. *burps whisky* since we have so much time here, we'll decide an English name for you. you look like a..";

Sabrina, Rachel, Ivy, Helen, Alexis, Jennifer, Dorothy, Natasha, Hally, Georgia, Nicky, Sharon, etc..

in the end, they settled for Jennifer and they kept going, "DO YO THANG ON DA FLO, J.LO" - whenever the song 'On The Floor' is played. there, my name miraculously became J.Lo.. i mean, Jennifer. but only for them!

to be honest, i used to have one(YES I ADMIT). it was Roxanne. and i feel like killing myself. now. out in the cold. thank God i've overcome that stage and stuck to Yen Chi. call me sentimental, my sisters and female cousins all have similar names - we're all Teh Yen's and the boys are Teh Heng's. and the main reason i only use my Chinese name is that Mom told me, my late grandmother(Dad's mother) was the one who named most of us and i was one of them. she also named my younger brother before she could even be there to see him. "if you ever have a boy after Chi, name him Heng Kian" - of course, she pronounced it in Chinese. and popped the '92 idiot.

i don't mean to offend people who already HAVE English names but this is one of the essence i find that is missing from the Chinese heritage. the invisible strong bond between families. when i was in school, people would know that i am related to my sisters and cousins by our names. 'blood is thicker than water' as they say. now. 'originality overrides tradition'.

my point of this post is not to criticize people's names(i think my name is being made fun more often than not). its just the sudden realization that what is used to be honorable before is now worthless. i know not many would have the same thinking as me, my friend even commented, "do you have nothing else to think of that you have to work your brain out on this small matter?!"

small matter? is losing of one's roots a small matter? then what is a big matter? your iPhone getting slower after updating to iOS5? anyway people, just a food for thought. i'm Teh Yen Chi, a proud Cina.

PS: Dear Future Husband, my parents are gonna be naming my kids and if you are planning to include an English name for them, i'm still gonna call them as my parents name them. too bad for you.

PPS: seriously, my iPod is getting more laggy after iOS5. APPLE, DO YOU READ ME?! HALP.

* everyone wants to turn back time, but i believe none can survive without WiFi *

i love my hands - thats why!

2011-11-05T00:56:00.004+08:00

What's the big deal about which finger you place your ring? Yes, EVERYBODY knows which one is the ring finger and it wasn't my previous flight that introduced me to another name; Suffer-Ring - I've known that for a long time ago as there was a joke on it. Well people, how bad can this little circle jewelry affect you?

Reason why I brought this topic up is because on most of my flights, my colleagues got bored talking bout work and Europe crisis, so they decided to move to the personal questions. Which I am fairly open about it. I've been wearing my 1+ year old ring on my right ring finger since I bought it despite my 'relationship status' as I find that the ring can bring out the femininity of my coarse hand and it seemed elegant to me. Not many would have the same assumption. So their first assumption is, "Did your boyfriend buy you that ring?"

Hell no. It is my 24th birthday gift for myself last year.

Oh. Surely your boyfriend got you something BIGGER.

What boyfriend?

*silent 30 second*

Well you've got a ring there, so I presume that you must have a boyfriend.

Honestly, I never really knew that rings are such a BIG deal cos I thought it was just a sign of a man's affection towards his woman(no matter which finger she puts on) and that was from Disney's Robin Hood cartoon(shut up, I watched A LOT of cartoons when I was young) - where Robin gave his sweetheart, Maiden Marian, a flower ring. All right, I don't know why but MOST cartoon characters only have 4 fingers so the flower ring is worn on her middle finger.

But to me, that's that. It is a Western thing, when I realized that my parents, my relatives who are in their late 40s or beyond, have never worn any ring. Does that mean that their affections for each other die off as years pass? Beats me. One thing I know for sure, divorce lawyers are probably earning much more than they had 30 years back.

I've met and knew some people who wore their rings on their fourth finger on their left/right hands and lets just say, I don't wanna judge, I'm not saying its their prerogative, I won't deny that the vows that they made in front of God on their wedding days COULD probably be real, I don't wanna know if someday they'll get a payback for what they did. Cos one thing I know about faithfulness, to gain it, you gotta risk yourself by giving your all.

Never let an object to be your sole aim of having happiness. It can never promise you anything other than earning extra cash unless you pawn it. I do have to admit one thing, it does hinder the chances of adultery but first, it is removable and pocket sized. Second, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

By the way, I will never change the placement of my ring due to people's assumption. Plus, I'm getting the hang of it, people asking me about my imaginary boyfriend - yes, it is Daniel, my faithful Daniel always lying on my bed, awaiting for my arrival to cuddle with it till the sun rises(or sets).

Its my human bolster, idiots.

PS: The same thing about respect as my Mom taught me, to gain respect is to respect first. If none is given, walk away.
But spit on them first(OK, I made this up)

PPS: Regardless of what I've posted, I don't mean that I don't need any of those blings.

My ring timeline (18JUL2010 - forever);
10 days ahead of my b'day

* "geee.. wonder what will Santa give me this year?" - "a ledger" *

T-Pain - 5 O'Clock ft. Wiz Khalifa, Lily Allen

2011-10-22T21:56:00.001+08:00

Yes I've been sleeping 5 o'clock every morning and this is driving me nuts especially when I have a morning flight to do the next day. This is the first time I'm seeing T-Pain in a more.. proper look - not his usual top-hat and sunglasses in the club look. Hope you guys enjoy the song! =)

"i've told you since the first time we went out - stop looking for risks. be the risk. you're still as stubborn as before *grins*"

* strangely, it still tingles every time you give me that child-like grin *

greatness shines on its own 21 - 280911

2011-10-20T01:05:00.012+08:00

I really don't know how to begin this post cos I've not been blogging for very long. In fact, my previous posts for the past one year has been.. hanging. Nothing much about my life, but more of how I felt at that point of time. And honestly, looking back at them - they seemed quite sad and melancholy. Damn. That doesn't look good. So here's my latest, not to show how awesome I've become(well, I have ALWAYS been), but its just something about my latest trip to another 'world', which is still a mystery to most people - Cambodia.

Why do I consider Cambodia as a mystery to the world? It exists in the world map, it appears in the news, there are travel books on them too, how mysterious can this country be? Prior to this trip, I've asked around, people who have never been to this country and most of them would say it is 'a dangerous, run down third world country' - definitely not a place for a lone female backpacker.

Yes, I was one of those people above who would say such thing. I thought Cambodians are one of the most dangerous people and I was nuts to even thought of going there! My best friends warned me that Cambodia has a high rate of human trafficking and they said, "don't worry, if anything, I'll find you at the child labour section and bail you out." - well. Thanks?

I landed into Phnom Penh on my first day, looked around the area as I was driven to my little crib, called BlueDog Guesthouse, in the city centre, and it reminded me a little of my previous trip to Hanoi. After checking in, I was lucky to have a tuktuk driver with such hospitality to tour me around Phnom Penh during my stay here. He brought me to places in my itinerary first before bringing me to other areas, which I didn't know about! He even told me a lot of histories about Cambodia - especially during the Khmer Rouge era cos he had been through that. I mean, to be honest, a regular guy would just drop you off to places you wanna go, get over and done with. Listening to histories from people who were affected during this era has definitely left an impact in me and with my awesome imagination, I don't know if I can ever be so strong to go through what they had been through.

I spent 3 days in Phnom Penh, half of my day on my way to Siem Reap via Mekong Express, and the last 4 days in Siem Reap. Places I've visited gave me extremely mixed feelings. Choeung Ek Killing Field and Tuol Sleng Museum showed me the dark moments of Cambodia and Angkor showed me a beautiful beginning of a great country. As much as I want to blog about my whole trip, I know it's gonna be a lengthy one.

I've met a few tourists from different continents and most of them are backpackers. For most of them who had been away from home for almost 3 months, they actually spent some of their time, volunteering in charitable homes. I didn't have much time but I managed to visit ACODO, a non profitable organization, in Siem Reap. That place not only opened my eyes but my heart too. I love my few hours spent in that place with the under privileged children and there I also met a nice Australian elder lady, who had been there for the past 9 months. Over dinner on my last day in Siem Reap, hearing her life story, she told me, "I don't know if it's by fate or by coincidence, but this has to be my best choice I've ever made. Some may say I'm avoiding reality. But who are they to say? These kids are happy. I am feeling happy."

Her guts deserve a salutation from me. I don't know what made her decided to stay but I have a strong feeling, it is the people here who touched her life like never before. Cos that is how I felt when I was there. I remembered that I was praying in Wat Dam Nak, one of the temples in Siem Reap and it was P'chum Ben(Festival of the Dead), an old man asked me in Khmer to join him for lunch together with the other devoted Buddhists. It was quite weird in the beginning cos I've never sat on the floor and eat before, but after a while, I realized that this is how it goes. Strangers would come along, have a meal together and enjoy each other's company. It felt warm(half of the time I couldn't understand the old man), and you don't get this in a modern society.

Anyway don't worry there will be a language barrier, most of the locals especially the younger generation are able to speak simple English and don't be shocked that most of the locals are very eager to talk to tourists cos majority have not been out of Cambodia, so they'd like to know how the world outside is like. I showed one of the kids where Malaysia and Singapore are and their reaction was, "So small? Can they fit a lot of people there?"

Another fact to clarify is, yes, it is true that there are a lot of beggar children around and they will approach you for money. To a certain extend, to some people who have low pressure tolerance, they can be quite annoying. However it doesn't mean that you can be rude to them. For instance, I was in Bayon and a child was begging from this lady. She just literarily shooed the poor girl away with her umbrella(bitch) and said to her friend, "so bloody annoying".

What the frock? Really.

Probably due to the hot sun and constantly being bitten by mosquitoes(damn you, useless insect repellent), I gathered my frustrations at her and she thought no one else understood her. Fucking pumpkin with ugly shoes. Money is not the only option, guys. Food can be given to them too and it is surely for their own consumption. But if none can be offered, a smile and gentle rejection will simply do just fine.

Sometimes a period away from routine, can definitely wake you up. A period away from people who know you and your comfort zone and I must say, it has given me a lot of time to think of how to get back in track with my life. Guess my old ways were hopeless! In conclusion, Cambodia is definitely a great getaway for me and it has taught me a lot more than what I've expected.

My colleague asked me before what do I expect out of the trip and even if I have the time to plan everything, I'd still give him the same answer, "Nothing. Expect nothing and you get greatness."

For more pics; CLICK HERE

PS: I was telling my friend about this over Facebook, like how difficult their lives are, how poor and all, this is what he said; "their definition of a happy ending may be very different from yours and mine. they may find bliss in the simple things - running water, a comfy stack of crap to sleep on, sharing a piece of bread with a friend, gazing upon the stars at night. true friendship. true love. things that actually matter to the soul. who's actually happier? i don't know."

* those who play safe remain. those who risk, will rise higher after every fall. who am i? =) *

i had to come and say goodbye.

2011-10-06T11:12:00.005+08:00

a special tribute to a man whom i wish to see what else can he surprise us all. unfortunately, none of us will ever get to see that. i'm extremely honored to be in the city where he was born, San Francisco, and a supposed date of the launch of iPhone 5. however, the news of our loss hit worldwide within seconds. the nearest Apple store to me is the one in Union Square and many showed up outside the store(by coincidence or on purpose) to pay their tributes. it certainly outshone iPhone 5's launch.

i know there are some people out there who read this will think how can a man who we are strangers to, affect us so much. the same way how i used to look at people who were so badly affected when their idol passed away. emotions? strange? drama queen?

its sad that the only way for people to learn the importance of something is to lose it. but sorry, Jobs, fate has been a disappointment to me; but faith keeps me going. like you've said, "don't be trapped by dogma".
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

RIP Steve Jobs [24FEB55 - 05OCT11]

nobody's a winner in our untold story.

2011-10-03T01:08:00.005+08:00

"weird to miss something i knew i had a choice - the midnight drives to nowhere on empty roads, our endless chat under the stars. i knew we both want something similar but i chose security than risk. being a self proclaimed risk taker, you are the only risk i dare not to take.

i made you my crush, then my memories, now my lost. sorry i had to walk away from the best for second best. however, i'm still glad we met. at least now i know, i wasn't invisible to you."

life gives you a box of crayons, color it.

2011-07-06T18:39:00.005+08:00

is Nothing a true satisfaction?
is Joy a wanderer?
is Desire harm in disguise?
is Forgiveness ever that kind?
is Patience always on probation?
is Perfect real or imaginary?
is Humor tired of not being taken seriously?
is Love as beautiful as described?
is Guilt holding your heart as hostage?
is Narcissism really selfish?
is Truth sometimes telling white lies?
is Curiosity a self punishment?
is Reality, Dream's worst nightmare?
is Animosity growing when Affection dies?
is the grass always greener on the other side of the fence?

we all have millions of questions circling around like an orbit but how often do we get answers for them all? everything is extremely subjective. life doesn't have an eraser, just a piece of endless paper with a pen that will never go dry till you say, "i'm so tired of continuing this shite". now please stay away from the window whenever you have a millisecond of that thought.

instead of feeling sorry for yourself, please feel sorry for feeling that way. i've been in an industry where "Sorry" is more common than "Thank You" and it has been more worn out than my Dad's pagoda t-shirt. a dear friend said to me, "sorry is the only word for recovery. but only the genuine one heals. as for the artificial one, it is considered verbal abuse to the word itself".

there isn't a manual to show you how to be happy and how to avoid sadness(SOME self help books do work but do you really need a book to tell you, "HEY WAKE UP SUNSHINE, YOU ARE BEING LOVED - GO OUT SHOPPING, FORGET BOUT SADNESS. NO, FUCK SADNESS"). as the matter of fact, both should be there to keep life real. but never let another to determine how you should live.

whether be it seeking for acceptance or pretending we do not care what people think, we are all loved for us - it is up for others to see whats our worth. for now, i'm just lying on my side of the garden and smelling the flowers =)

my dream castle.

* you are your own warrior in the cold war of your happiness. defend or desert. *

wishing for a jackpot on 2011

2011-06-21T16:20:00.005+08:00

hundreds of people have walked in and out of my life. by choice or by chance, it doesn't really matter. cos every single one of them taught me different lessons. for the ones that remain in my life, they make an effort to watch me grow, to pick me up when i fall, and lead me back on track.

i know i've said before, to give people a benefit of a doubt and all those crap but i've just realized that it doesn't concern me if a stranger gave me that. most importantly, the people i care about give me that =)

everything comes with a price,
so my trust for the price of your loyalty.

* "fret not, babe. just keep that big head of yours high and look for me." *

i will make a comeback.

2011-04-01T17:01:00.003+08:00

how long will roses stay beautiful?

how soon will Earth swallow the Sun?
when will the butterflies stop fluttering?
Forever is fictional,
but is Spark fictitious?

lets go to neverland

2011-03-28T18:55:00.003+08:00

Someone asked me before, what would you want to do if you quit your(current) job? Being a dreamer, I always thought of something that isn't practical. So my first answer is to be a bartender in a beach club. Was partially inspired by my best friend/bro, Chia, who told me his amazing backpacking trip to Germany last year and the way he put it, its like, you'll just stop growing old at that point of time.

Childish, some people may think. Totally unrealistic, most will feel as being in this world, happiness isn't that simple. Has money ever buy happiness at all? Is money really the root of all evil? Does money create war to this world? Or are we the main factor to all these problems? Yeah, it is much easier to push the blame to a voiceless object. Just like how we blame technology for the pollution and knives for the killing.

Do I hate money? No. I love them! Am I materialistic? Mmm.. Practical is more like it, just like what my boy said. Will I ever feel happy if I have all the money in world but no love at all? Damn, I'm not that greedy but honestly, you'll never know till you try. And I have not tried that before.

Of course, if I have all the money in the world, why would I still wanna work? Unless my job is the one that's providing me all the greens. Well, a more practical dream would be having a boutique cum cafe of my own. A cafe in London called Giraffe has the similar interior design as I want for my cafe and I recalled how I was describing to my boy on our London trip. Cozy, a little kampung-ish and cheeky. Sigh. Then I thought again, that will only come true if I hit the biggest jackpot.

Though I'm taking easy on things for now and drafting a new way of planning my money, I'm just happy as the way things turn out now. Like they always say, when life gives you a lemon, make a lemonade out of it. Pretty true I must say. No point whining everyday why my bank doesn't call me for the overflowing money in my account or why can't I just close my eyes and buy that C.Louboutin? Why don't I have enough to fully support my parents at home?

Man, I have no idea where this random post is going to but it's bout time for me to pop by my boy's, who's jamming with his friend. Just thought that it hasn't been updated for the longest time and Ed's been bitching on my MSN.

PS: I'll shoot anyone down who says money doesn't make them one bit happier. shite, even bullets cost money.

monsoon night

2011-01-30T00:42:00.006+08:00

A farmer wakes up to find that his horse has run off. The neighbors come by and say, "Too bad. Such an awful luck."

The farmer says, "Maybe."

The following day, the horse returns with a few other horses. The neighbors congratulate the farmer on his reversal of fortune.

The farmer says, "Maybe."

When his son tries to ride one of the new horses, he falls and breaks his leg. His neighbors offer condolences.

The farmer says, "Maybe."

And the next day, when army officials come to draft all the young men from the village - his son is excluded because of his broken leg - everyone is happy.

The farmer says, "Maybe." - one of the Buddhist stories.

Maybe. Just maybe. Every cloud has a silver lining. It depends how long can you stand under the rain and wait for that rainbow to check in. For now, I'll leave the world behind, without worrying of what I'll lose.

* optimism and pessimism ain't bringing us nowhere. just see where the train brings us to. *

sweet little thing you.

2011-01-21T21:52:00.002+08:00

"legs are just limbs. just like arms. you are able to express by actions. i can't walk. i can't wave. i don't have any of those. many times since i was young, i was bring teased as a potato. but then the only saying that keep me alive till this very day is 'its better to die standing than to live kneeling'. everyone has their ups and downs, but at the very end is, does your heart has the strength and confidence to stand and walk through?" - appreciate the little things in life. there will be people greater than us, same as there will be people lower than us. we will all be pushed around many times, criticized, degraded, humiliated for as long as we live. however, there is one thing they can never do, which is to manipulate a mind of a person who is just as awesome as they are. i am as awesome as i am. bite me.

PS: it is so cold in LHR i can just chill my wines by leaving them outside my window.

* when is contentment enough? *

my glass will never be empty

2011-01-13T15:46:00.005+08:00

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back - in many ways it is a feast for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. - Frederick Buechner

For those of you who aren't sure what the Seven Deadly Sins are, let me put them up for you. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Pride. Lust. Envy. Gluttony. Any big fan of ANTM would remember that this theme was used for Season 4 and honestly, I've never thought sins can be so sexy. Which explains why it is so irresistible at times.

It'll be a crazy long post if I were to blog about all these seven sins so I only choose one particular sin, since I have been having friends or acquaintances telling me about how their lives had been in the past and how they let anger take control of everything; physically, emotionally and mentally. Wrath. You can't live with or without them.

I won't mention names here but just a little brief story of Mr.K and his newly-attached-ex-but-still-hung-over-him. Though I've only known him for a month plus but I'm pretty surprised how Mr.K is so open about telling me, a new friend, of what was bothering him. I mean, seriously, would you consider telling someone you hardly know about you and your ex and not have any doubt that she/he might get bored of listening to your drama? My friend, who doesn't know about the stories people share(I don't consult and tell) but knew that I was being a 'consultant' when I'm not flying, said, "Babe, I think you have the 'tell-me-everything' face".

If you want to hear a true story that is not sugar coated, make the story teller drunk. Not too drunk to a point where you gotta flag a cab for this poor soul. I always feel that people will somehow let their guards down when alcohol greets the liver. So yeah, we were having beers when Mr.K was telling me the story.

It began with a little introduction of their relationship, how they play a part in their families' eyes and how it was broken in the end. 3 years of relationship, quite a big age gap, and two guys were involved(excluding him *gasps*). Nothing much was mention of how happy they were together and yet they managed to stay for 3 years, he did throw in quite a lot of anger while explaining to me, why is she still contacting him and suddenly brush him off? Is she playing a game? That is what he asked me.

I didn't give much opinion so I just put myself in her shoes(again, being a B.O.D me), and I said, you may think she's young and she doesn't know what she wants. She is now angry when things didn't go her way and I'm sure you are too. Of course, he was denying. There and then, he told me with more anger than before, like how he wanna punch the guy who she is with currently(one of the two guys), for being so controlling over her and always putting her down. The first thing that came in my mind was, didn't you just say she is a smart girl? Smart and weak don't really get along yo.

As Mr.K continuously tells me about what happened on the days when she contacted him, I'm beginning to see that he was still feeling upset and angry over what had happened between them. And hoping that he doesn't do anything silly, I was pretty harsh at him cos at this point of time, anger had covered both his ears. Cos I know when an uncontrolled anger takes over, revenge will step in. Which sometimes I think of people who seek for revenge(unless that person kills your loved ones), like trying to make a point that 'you hurt me', are just people who can't deal with challenges in life. In short, weak.

I know that what I just said might have offended some people but it is quite true isn't it? Hurting another for hurting yours? An eye for an eye makes the world blind, as said by Mahatma Gandhi. These great people have angers too, but they're wise to know how to control them. *chuckles* Which I think it requires more than just spreading laughable rumors around to control these little suckers.

Back to Mr.K, there is nothing much he can do apart from staying away from her in order to move on. He asked how can he move on if she doesn't stop bothering him? Every time she texts him, he gets very angry. Luckily for him, he's going a business trip soon and he said he hope that he will just get over things and be a new man. Good for you dude! First step, stop hitting yourself!

Well I can't say much on her side cos I'm only hearing one side of the story but treating life as though its a game? Fine to me, however, to be in a game, you must first be a good player. Sometimes you gotta lose to know how to win. From what I see, nobody's surrendering.

I find that being angry is very tiring. Extremely mind damaging. And it amazes me how most people can be contented with life when they have vengeance nesting in them. Teach me please cos I really think that I am the most bo chap person, even when I'm hearing empty cans making loud noises around.

I will never forget what my Dad used to tell me in Chinese(he's an AWESOME philosopher), 'silence condemns more effectively than loud accusations'. I smirked as I read the last line of Frederick Buechner's quote. Victory has never taste so sweet especially when I know someone or more are still chewing off their nails, frustrated, at my ability to stand a level higher than them. Well it is pretty simple. Stop feasting yourself.

PS: Just to send the message across here, I don't mean that I get bored or hate to be in this situation where I'm always the one listening. As the matter of fact, I'm glad I am able to do so since I do not have any drama going on in my life and it gets quite interesting to hear what different experiences people are going through and also seek for my point of view. Yet again, I always tell them, "Whatever I'm gonna say, is just a word of advice. You decide which button to execute your next step".

* i skip on the same path you try to crawl back to your sanity *

put yourself in our stilettos.

2011-01-07T21:35:00.002+08:00

girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short//wear shirts and boots cause it's okay to look like a boy//but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading//cause you think being a girl is degrading//but secretly you'd love to know what it's like//wouldn't you?//what it feels like for a girl?//

Madonna

world without roads. we'll make 'em.

2011-01-04T23:02:00.002+08:00

Far East Movement ft Ryan Tedder - Rocketeer.

Remember having that tingly feeling behind your neck when you were going to have that first kiss? Sweaty palms, quick heartbeat, flashbacks of the Hollywood kisses, weak knees and you close your eyes, shifting all your senses to your lips.

Everyone has theirs at different ages, and most of the ones I've heard is quite heart warming. It didn't matter if the relationship work out or not. I recalled talking bout this with a few crew onboard and surprisingly one is married to his (not-so)childhood sweetheart whom he first met when she was working part time as a waitress for his cousin's wedding dinner.

FK gave me the impression that it is so magical, probably because of the fairytale stories. True love's first kiss is the only way to break a spell right? Quite a standard line. So does that mean we gotta kiss a lot of frogs first before finding for that prince? Man that's quite a lot of frogs to kiss.

Well I grew out of that. Cos honestly, the world isn't as simple as before. People aren't as simple as before. Unlike my colleague, not everyone is all that lucky who hit the jackpot. Which explains the high rate of divorce and singlehood. Most are being such gamophobics due to many factors, and one of them is people have forgotten the real meaning of commitment as they thought of it as 'being tied-down'. True that we can all find happiness on our own, but we are missing what's on the other side; a happiness you cannot find alone.

How do you consider a first kiss? The first time when you touch a guy's lips or the first time you felt the tingle even before kissing? I'd like to say mine is latter cos my first time experience is rather.. urmm.. How do I describe it? Kissing a rock under a waterfall and this is due to an obligation for a birthday boy who was my boyfriend back then. Hilariously it wasn't as romantic as I expect my first time to be and the first thing that ran in my mind, if this is something that everyone is so crazy about, count me OUT.

Of course, I was proven wrong by a guy who made my senses tingle in the beach. Good 7 years ago.

So back to the colleague of mine who married his sweetheart(anyway he's 48 now), he told me, "I still feel the tingles sometimes whenever we shared that kiss. Guess that's love or she's just a good kisser."

All right what has this video gotta do with my current post? Absolutely nothing, I just love it =) It just reminded me of the tingles I just had, when the world has not roads. Just you and me.

* rock it like there is no tomorrow. we are the inventors of our own tomorrow *

GLEE - Teenage Dream

2010-12-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

My favorite song performed by Glee. Chia just posted this video on my Facebook and I just recently come to be addicted to Glee so I haven't seen this part. I know I am pretty late but I was still getting over the fact that Ugly Betty is over *tears trickling* No more super duper chio fashion, no more funny gay guy despising loudly at Betty's sense of dressing,

As a conclusion, I AM SO IN LOVE WITH GLEE AND KURT. But Marc St James(Ugly Betty) is still my favorite. And Anthony Marentino(Sex and the City). And Lee McDermott(Desperate Housewives). And Dolce and Gabanna. And Neil Patrick Harris. SUIT UP BITCHES.

wet wet Singapore.

2010-12-02T19:21:00.003+08:00

a exactly year ago, at PS cafe. i hated your laughter.

but now i realized, be it loud, snorted or annoying, the best laughter is a genuine one.

i will search for that.

then i will bottle it in my memories.

* would you rather to cry in a Proton or in a BMW? - words of wisdom *

and he said to me.

2010-11-23T21:25:00.004+08:00

"Aiyo, still single? But don't worry lah, you so young. Sure can find one. But don't find handsome and young kind one ah. Must find a rich and mature man." - quoted by an uncle taxi who just dropped me home from town.

But uncle, what if I don't want to do the search and want to be found? Is that selfish or lazy? Food for thought.

However, don't these unexpected encounters just make you giggle when you recall? =)

* oh gosh, old habits die hard *

santa gave me my pressiee..

2010-11-22T23:50:00.004+08:00

It's another year coming to an end and what couldn't be better than getting a Christmas gift from the company? AWESOME HKG/SFO. Come to think of it, I had the same flight around the same time last year but probably this is like a closing chapter for me before I say HEY BABY GURL to 2011!

Though I've always been told that time flies(I knew that already), but my sisters told me before when I turned 19, "time travels faster once you pass 24". Yes that was half a decade ago and I am 24.

Still so young what!, you might think(prolly not for those who are younger than me). But honestly, seeing at what I used to target for, like getting married at 26, starting a family at 28, having my own boutique cum cafe by 34, etc; I've overgrown all of those for new targets. Gonna scratch the first two but isn't it gonna be great to own a boutique cum cafe? *Sigh* I was told it is possible but that will have to be diverted from something else that is more important to me - spending more time with my family and going for a family trip.

It is a holiday season right now and most people are traveling everywhere - which explains the high rates of children coming onboard. Just the other day when I was operating on a flight to Narita, I greeted a lot of children and gave them the free goodies we have onboard like Santarina. The first question I asked them, "Are you excited to go Disneyland?!"

One boy was so shy, he turned away but shook his head so hard like, yes yes YES!! So cute of you, Jayden.

Then I remembered the times when my family and I went for our family trips(mostly around Malaysia), I cried when I left home cos I thought the house will be so lonely without us. I was 8 and paranoid. Now I've left home for almost 3 years. And the house is pretty quiet, seeing that my 1st sister being stationed in Jakarta and 2nd sister followed her husband over to Shanghai.

So which is why sometimes I can understand how some local crew will leave Singapore heavy heartedly for a long flight. But that is the part and parcel of the job, that is the part and parcel of growing into an independent individual.

Time ain't gonna stop for anyone, and most definitely will not turn back for anyone. At times my hometown friends will ask why didn't I come out and meet them, etc. Sorry guys, but the fact is most of the time when I go back home after a long flight, maximum of 3 days. And if you were to combine my annual leave, I'll only be home for 2 months at most in a year.

Shit am I feeling homesick now? Darn, it always happen when it is approaching end of the year. But I will be home soon. But lemme deal with HKG and MXP first.

* i just want one thing - a pen drive to store my memories *

The Script - For The First Time

2010-11-20T14:50:00.000+08:00

arrogant little girl

2010-11-19T17:45:00.002+08:00

When you think about it, there is no way you can please everyone. As Bill Cosby said, "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to please everyone".

So each of us is born with our own mindset. Each of us has different upbringing and different experience to mould us into who we are today. But whatever the consequences might be, be it good or bad, be bold, be upright and dare to say, "your opinion is not mine. You can make me hear but you can never make me listen."

Stubborn? Not so crude. Upright. Is more like it.

to be a saint is the exception
to be an upright man is the rule
err, fall, sin if i like
but i will be upright

* i only speak when necessary. and i don't bark *

an hour to go..

2010-11-16T16:41:00.004+08:00

"you are such a generous b.o.d giver"

"b.o.d?"

"benefit of doubt"

"ahh.. okay, well everyone deserves that. till they abuse the privilege. so only one chance - that's it."

"true, you have to protect yourself too."

"yeah. but on the contrary, you gotta lower your shield if you wanna give a helping hand."

a rockstar without her guitar

2010-11-16T01:53:00.008+08:00

this post is just gonna be purely pictures only, pictures of Ili and I in BNE. Only get to meet for like.. half a day before she flew back to SIN. Darn we both got activated for the same station but different flight! However we still managed to make full use of the time we had together =) All right except for the last 2 photos, was taken today as my.. pain reliever. Plus that new Topshop dress I just got *grins*

look who's being a good girl and not waste her food!

afternoon sleepover!!

15NOV10; Paradise Dynasty in ION with Love Joyce =)

Been craving for this after reading a few reviews about it. FINALLY. Different colors have different flavors but after finishing them all, I'd say, it is interesting but I'll still stick to the good ol' original xiao long bao.

* i am the stardust you wish your life has. keep watching me as you drown your shallow world *

i'd do Megamind

2010-11-12T17:01:00.004+08:00

Few of the examples of good animations are 'Up', 'Finding Nemo', 'Shrek', 'Ratatouille', 'Ice Age', and 'Toy Story'. Though I couldn't get used to watching 3D cartoons(I grew up staring at VHS tape), I'm loving the graphic effect that never fail to amaze me and I take my hat off to the experts.

The latest animation cartoon I watched is Megamind, which recently just came out few days ago. Hilarious. Clever. Entertaining. I must really give it up to the directors and cartoons these days are not anymore the old days lose-your-slippers-prince-will-find-you or maybe hide-up-the-tower-and-wait-for-the-true-knight. Lemme start off with the synopsis here;

Two outer space baby creatures are sent to Earth as their own worlds were going, what it seems to be, sucked up by the black hole. One baby is the one who has it all; superpowers, money, perfect foster parental guidance, physique, looks and nice hair; who is also the future superhero of Metro City called MetroMan. As for the other baby, he has nothing but a fish side-kick, Minion, a pair of adorable green eyes and a huge genius brain - that's Megamind.

Unlike MetroMan who was silver spoon fed since the beginning, Megamind grew up in a correctional state prison, always an outcast in school, causing problems unintentionally and in the end, MetroMan(coincidentally his schoolmate) will come to the school's rescue. So he wasn't a villain in the beginning. It is until he realizes that he isn't appreciated or taken notice of when he is being nice, so he decides to be the bad guy.

MetroMan and Megamind continuously whoop each other's asses and Megamind will only tend to kidnap one lady reporter, Roxanne(who even claims that she needs to have her Kidnapping coupon to be stamped). Roxanne and MetroMan have no relationships, which is explained later in the show, but MetroMan being a superhero, he will always rescue the poor maiden in distress. Until on the opening of MetroMan's Museum, he is successfully destroyed by Megamind and soon MetroCity has been taken over by the evil. As time passes, Megamind finds that he misses the challenge and also hates the fact that, he killed his one and only joy to be a villain, which is killing a superhero.

Megamind talks to Roxanne for the first time without animosity or sarcasm, that's because Megamind disguised as Bernard, a boring MetroMan's museum geek. Here and there, they kept in touch, here and there, they both had a spark. But Megamind's invented superhero, Tighten(which I thought was spelled as the more glamorous Titan), some ugly orange hair cameraman who is Roxanne's colleague and who also has a huge crush on her, finds out bout them and becomes jealous. He too then has the same mindset as lil' Megamind, why be nice when efforts were taken for granted? Two villains, no superhero, a recipe for doom in MetroCity. Roxanne accidentally finds out that Bernard is actually Megamind, she accuses him of being mean for manipulating her feelings by disguising himself, but Megamind gives his reason; 'the bad guy never gets the girl'.

OK, blah blah blah. Fight. Finding ways to deal with Tighten. Victory is Megamind's. He gets the girl in the end. Now stop being a cheapskate and please watch it in the cinema yourself.

I don't know how true it is but what this movie shows is that everyone starts out as a good person till at some point of their lives, they will decide which path would they wanna go. Do I believe there's good in every bad person? Yes. Enough said.

Well, even evil can get the girl, its only up to the evil how he wanna turn his world around and rescue her.

I'd wanna watch this again but gotta fly off to BNE tonight. SHUCKS. But after BNE, I'll get a little pressie for myself in Haji Lane =)

* keep barking at the wrong tree and get nothing - you gutless GOOD dog *

The LandLord from Funny or Die.com

2010-11-11T21:26:00.004+08:00

One of the funniest videos I've ever watched. And Pearl is just CLASSIC. From Will Ferrell's website, www.funnyordie.com. God, I still couldn't take it.. She's just too paranoid..

The Landlord from Will Ferrell

Ambrosia - How Much I Feel

2010-11-08T00:07:00.002+08:00

Thanks for bringing me into the life of jazz music, unexpressed bliss(of course until recently) and the special dedication, Franc =)

"You are the risk only a real man dare to take. Till then, stranger. One and a half."

One Down, Two to Go, Solitary One on the Run 231010

2010-11-05T20:54:00.007+08:00

Never thought that this day will ever come but since late last year, I've been getting wedding invitations from hometown friends, school friends, colleagues, and the first thing came in my mind was, am I missing something here?

Since most events were held back in Klang and took place on weekends, I didn't make it for any one of my hometown friends' special day. Honestly, I don't even know what to do or what to bring. Alcohol? Microwave? Hand cuffs? Rice cooker? Money? Yeah that's the best gift I can think of.

However, I'm glad that Joyce(our new house bunny!) is sweet enough to change her flights with mine as she knew that I'm hunting for a day off on 23rd October. Sigh but it had been the busiest month for me and my last long flight of the month was sandwiched between two MNLs(even the caterer remembers me - "eh you child-like stewardess!")

Had a short but good night's rest before, even after watching Paranormal Activity 2 with Josh in Vivo, I got ready within 1 and a half hours(is that long?) before I dashed out from the house - thinking that I was LATE. Luckily I wasn't and the best part is, even the bride and the groom were not there yet(wtf?)
It was a very comfortable ceremony in Villa Halia and it was located at Ginger Garden. Fuck. The uncle dropped me at Botanic Garden. My knees were wobbling when the lady at the help's desk said the walking journey is 'only 15 minutes'. Judging from my high heels and the length of my legs, it was a struggling 15 minutes. These babies almost killed me but MOMMA STILL LOVES YOU. ALL SAINTS BABY. When Myera called me,

"Hello?? *pant*pant*"

"Chi, why you panting?! WHAT YOU DOING?! (suspecting..)"

"I'm walking.. *pant*.. to the Villa.. Where you? *pant*"

"I'm still with Christian, he's calling a cab now.. You guys are all there already?!? Shitee.. Can you tell Athena I'll be running a little late?" - Athena might have guess that already

"You standard one lah.. *pant* OMG I feel so smelly.. *pant* luckily I got bring perfume and fan.."

Not to mention, it was hot, humid and I felt like I just smoked 10 ciggies at a go in this kinda hazy weather.

its not called 'killer' for nothing.

I met Athena's parents who flew all the way from Miri the night before and also Andy's family. After that, I nonchalantly threw myself on the rattan couch and chatted with her Mom, whom I've first met 2 years ago when we were still staying in that horrible unit in Drive 1. Kah Ean came together wit Weslly(the lucky freak who got call up for a 4 days' BNE and also coincidentally manage to get his one of his off days on Athena's ROM - hate you).

athena, athena's mom, super kepo me, athena's dad.

Athena was wearing a sweet fully sequin off white mesh dress and her favorite, most comfortable pair of gold high heels while Andy had a black coat over a white and black shirt. Psycho me was scrutinizing his shirt and thinking back of my sewing and drafting college days in LaSalle. PSYCHOTIC SEAMSTRESS ME.Myera and Christian made it before the ceremony began and looking at Myera's red dress, I remembered her showing me the dress at home, "This dress is SO Kim Kardashian." - she's such a big fan of the Kardashians.

When the 505 was taking a group photo, Kah Ean regretted that she was wearing her flats and became slightly shorter than me(VICTORY IS MINE). It really has been a long time since we last took a group photo and for the first time, it is taken during the day.
After the ceremony of Athena signing off her freedom, all cheered and I turned to the guys, "one of you is next in line." We just need an ice breaker. And I swear, I think I saw Kah Ean teared a little when they exchanged vows - such a softie and we all knew her being very emotional person since training days when we were watching a videoclip of an old folks' home. So LADIES, waterproof always rock and always keep a fan with you.

remember. #1 waterproof make up. #2 fan

another reason to put on waterproof make up.

Thai/Western cuisine was served for lunch and I absolutely love the pineapple fried rice and soft shell crab! Freaking AWESOME. Totally our kinda thing! *burp*It was great that all of us managed to make it for Athena's ROM and I know it means a lot to her(RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT?). Ceremony ended at 3 plus and we all headed back home and I got ready for my next family reunion - MEET THE CHIAS.

I went to Chia's place first and had a homemade soup by his Mom. Ili? Late as usual. Heh heh heh.. His Mom was so bubbly when I first greeted her and she said, "Chia always show me all of your photos and now to see you in person is even better!"

Umm.. Aunty, I really hope he doesn't show ALL of them y'see. And I'm sure Ili agrees.

Next we went over to Din Tai Fung for dinner in Tampines Mall and somehow in a way, Daddy Chia reminded me of Dad cos he reads newspapers at night too. Dad always do that before he sleeps.

"aunty, i'm curious. was chia an emo child? did he dance to 'dancing queen'?"

Two family reunions within a day, at least I have a little recollection of how warmth from home feels like =)

PS: Muffin, you have no idea how many jokers did I email to change flights with them but for those who didn't reply my email, there is this button on the top that says "Reply" and you type that you're not keen and just click "Send". It doesn't cost you a single cent and you don't need to spend 10 years sitting on the chair just to see if I've received. It didn't really matter to some people when I stated "A REPLY IS TRULY APPRECIATED" till it strikes them back. So angry.

PPS: So can I call them Mommy Chia and Daddy Chia now?!?

* to be a saint is the exception, to be an upright man is the rule. err, fall, sin if you will, but be upright. *

Johnny Mathis - Misty

2010-10-29T01:22:00.000+08:00

you sang love to my ears 181010

2010-10-24T23:33:00.010+08:00

My friends think that I must be crazy to willing to change my Aussie flights away for Male, two of the major reasons are short stay and huge difference in terms of allowance between those two flights. "Next time if I have Male, I know who to look for".

how can anyone give THIS away for MONEY?!

Throw 'em this way girls. But I won't give up my London for that cos I'll be spending twice as much as what I'd spend in Male.

So yeah I was pretty lucky to be able to get this flight(THANK YOU TO THE KIND GIRL) and I was quite surprised that she wanted to take my crappy flights. She must have really hated the sun so much that she's willing to take any offer. Well, perfect timing for a quick getaway.

Though I have to admit, I kinda hate the 30 minutes boat ride from the airport to our island and two girls had to move from the cramped room in the boat. Claustrophobic? No way especially in our line of work. Thanks to my iPod, 30 minutes passed in a glimpse.

We checked in late at night and 5 of us met up for a drink. Jenny and I did a flight together before but she had a sinus infection during that flight so we couldn't have our drinking session. The rest all surrendered to the bed while a couple went for night snorkeling. Think what gave us the motivation to drink is (no we're not alcoholics) that since it's a short stay and we would wanna make full use of the 24 hours' stay. OH, not forgetting, this is the only time I can visit my good ol' sparkly friends up in the sky =) It was heavenly.

can even find my friend here. wazzaa..

It is quite surprising to me that I managed to wake up when my alarm clock rang at 8.30am, despite the fact that I only slept at 6am. ..... OK, I lied. I snoozed(I'm such a failure). Thanks to Anthony, a tech crew who was with us last night, gave me a wake up call at 8.45am. Of course, I was even more excited when I realized that it was such a sunny day! We were quite worried that weather might get bad since the monsoon season has not really ended yet. WHEE!! Perfect for snorkeling! More imbalance skin tone! Screw bare back dresses! I'm going to the SEA.jenny and i

Here's a fact bout sunblocks guys. I bought an SPF130+ sunblock, thinking that I will not only not get burned or darker, my skin will reflect back the sun rays! COOL, the first thought that came in my mind when I first saw it in the pharmacy. Its a LIE. What I recently just read is, unfortunately after the trip, 'sunblocks with SPF30 will prevent you from UV rays on 97%. The higher indices of SPF will provide the same protection or probably a little bit higher.' - too late. Bikini line got even more obvious now - FARK LAH.

When I was in the midst of snorkeling near the drop, I got up and saw Jenny and Rudy went back to shore. I asked Anthony following behind me where are the girls going?

"Ahh.. Rudy saw got sharks so she got scared and swam off."

Immediate reaction -_-" Mmm.. There better not be any Momma Shark around protecting her young ones.

One of my ranking crew onboard said he will never swim to the drop as he is afraid of not being able to see what's coming and the sudden change of water temperature will cause him anxiety. That is the scariest thing about swimming in the ocean, you can't see far. Initially I had the same fear but after having a slight taste of risk, it became an addiction. Sometimes these risks I take really bring me to another level in life. It's like, there is more to life than what I read and hear.
Watching the school of fish shakin' their booties, different corals hanging onto the drop, shadows of light in the sea, is beyond peaceful. This is the only world, though polluted by human beings, but the innocent essence has not yet been invaded. The world that doesn't know the good, the bad and the ugly.

my first MLE trip - 24/280809

It has been more than a year since my last Male trip and that was my best flight ever. 5 freaking days, with the best set of crew, away from all technology and communication. I still miss it very much.

Oh dear, please do not ever provide us with free Wi-fi or else everyone will be stuck in their rooms.
* allow your gentle waves to carry me//to where the good, the bad, and the ugly can never find us//we shall merge into one//dream lovers will find peace, risk takers will take a plunge//we will be together forever//...till the day i exhale my last breath//you will be the last thing i am going to look at//i promise//as my imperfection is our perfection *

hearing my house bunny's wedding bells!

2010-10-17T05:28:00.002+08:00

Few more days to go to attend my house bunny's ROM in B.Garden! Well, uh-hum.. To think that 2 years back we were all guessing, who's getting married first(*hint* the expected to be single and loves to mingle is the surprisingly going steady!). Hehehe.. Can't wait to take so many gorgeous photos =)))

* you will always be in 505, athena *

tik tok TIK TOK!

2010-10-15T18:34:00.004+08:00

"is he/she straight?"

Stereotype people will ask that curious question when the subject portrays him or herself differently. Like, a girl should have long hair and a guy must be the less vain creature. Honestly, what century are we all living in now? Is fashion unisex? Who determines who can or cannot use moisturizer? Is he gay if he has more facial products than you have?

........

A definite yes for the last question.

Many years ago, women were not allowed to wear pants and I figure the term "put on the pants" came along. Only men wore pants and it simply means, a person with authority(yeah yeah). Now, we have different designs of pants for women. And here's a shocking truth about heels(for some ladies who don't know bout this), heels were made for men first. Think again guys, if you are going to ask the ladies, "How did you survived in those shoes?"

Henry XIV did and it is amazing how his feet manage to support that weight.

It didn't really bother me much till recently that this question is affecting one person I care. It gets even more annoying when that circle of kaypohs kept going around searching for an answer that they already know or probably think they know. Guess what they're seeking for is a confirmation. Does this little thing really bother you that much?

When you ask them that question, their replies will always be, "Oh no lah, just wanna know/just curious, because she/he seemed to be one on her/his Facebook profile."

Damn kaypoh lah you idiots. Childish isn't even the word to use to describe them as it degrades the other children around the world, and at that age, they have not even discover the world of stereotypes. I just read a short post on "Kids Give me Hope" website on my iTouch(whee!!) and it goes to show that children, are truly angels(except for the ones that puked on me);

'I work at a daycare, and one of the boys is 3.5 and autistic. he gets easily frustrated sometimes and will start screaming.

Another little bou who is 4 will come up to him when he cries and pat him on the back and tell him everything is going to be okay.

Little boys who care GMH.'

Saddest news I just watched from CNN when I was in Houston is that 4 teens committed suicide within a month due to the harassment by anti-gay. The 5th teen came in the following month. That is truly devastating, thinking that there are helpless bunch of people out there who dare not to truly bare themselves to this selfish society. So to all douchebags out there, hear me out. No matter what our sexual orientation is, it is none of your concern. Cos we are amazing, just the way we are so lay off. (All right in a split second, I'm sure some people are gonna think, OH EM GEE is Chi gay?!) I give up.

lunch@jones the grocer;

"aren't you curious bout me?"

"one thing you need to know bout me, i don't ask when i'm interested. i don't need to know what i don't know. i have skeletons in my closet too, i'd like to keep them that way. it depends on how sincerely honest you wanna be to me. you clear, stranger?"

* fun has a new name. dj keep the music playing all night long. *

nirvana is just a mile away

2010-10-12T23:19:00.007+08:00

to put one's guards up, shields all genuine and insincere acts,
to blame others, never an option as it can never untangle any complication,
to expect the unexpected, weakens the unforseen excruciating pain,
to feel love, even if its just once and be disappointed,
to accept indifference, is to avoid the path of stereotyping,
to search for answers, let it be fact or fiction,
to know someone, isn't to know who they were and what they did,
to dream and wake up, makes one choose to face reality or continue dreaming,
to touch with one's fingers, immunity has taken over their senses,
to cremate animosity and vengeance, keeps one moving on,
to yearn for a new beginning, one starts to pray as a final resort,
to pray for umpteenth times, unanswered desperate calls kill hopes and beliefs,

doubt shan't haunt and linger,
for my heart had thank me for listening,

here are three cards i've laid,
two choices for you and one for me,
promises are illusory masters, only lies with temporary security

go on living in fear, my words were clear,
i choose not to be what i used to be,
i choose to be far away from mercy,
nirvana is just a mile away.

* baby, always remember, i am not you, and you can never be me. good luck. *

same old spark came back

2010-10-09T08:11:00.003+08:00

the subject says it all.

"hey stranger"

the first two words that made me realize, the fun isn't over yet.

=) funny how we meet again.

PS: dang, unpacking after a 10 days flight and its like opening an early X'mas pressie!! few more hours and i'm heading BACK to see home! feels good to be me again.

* shopping really IS the best therapy! *

Katy Perry - Teenage Dream

2010-10-04T00:17:00.000+08:00

"we can dance until we die, you and i, we'll be young forever" =)

Swiss Chills

2010-10-03T17:07:00.006+08:00

"On two different days, two different flights, one after another, two different babies, but on the same stewardess, they had to puke on. Now I know why we carry extra uniform in our cabin bag."

Damn, if its a flight routine for me, my uniform color would fade within 3 months or less. But on second thought, if that's gonna make the babies stop crying(prolly just to release the uneasiness in their small tummies) and be good throughout the whole flight, Mothers, you are lucky to have a stewardess who is willing to be showered with baby's puke.

That last happened when we departed from SIN to ZRH but the parents were truly gracious as they have two other infants to calm down. Truly understand when people say, the younger they are, the more headache they can cause. True, true. Before the existence of drugs, online porn and alcohol, there wasn't anything much to be worried about children when they grow older.

Though I have been to ZRH quite a number of times(told you I'm the Queen of European Stations), I never really get to venture around the city. This time around, I have a German speaking crew friend, Aaron, who is on the same flight(yay!)and he just brought us around. Weather was getting colder then and it got even more windy as it got darker. The drizzles didn't help much apart from soaking into our non water resistant footwear.
We had dinner at the Spaghetti Factory in the Old Town and Aaron introduced to us this 'girl beer' called Panache. The alcohol level is only 4% and extremely easy to drink. I am not usually someone who can adapt taste of beer easily and there is only a small selection of beers I can take but this one, is freaking AWESOME. For those who know me, I will turn into a red lobster when the alcohol kicks in and lucky for me, I have Amelia as my twin lobster.

amelia and aaron

aaron dearie!!

ling, our new good friend, panache and i

my BOMBAY pasta!!

Next to Spaghetti Factory, there is a Cheese Fondue Restaurant and if it weren't for the full dinner, we would go for round two. Since I have another ZRH to kill end of this month, this place might just be in my itinerary. I just hope I can find a cheese lover crew onboard too.

Its just too bad this is such a short flight and we were all crying out loud on our way back to SIN, why isn't this a four sectors flight?! But we sure had a lot of fun especially during the drinking session in my room, trying to scare each other in the room.

Man, this has to be one of my disorientated posts cos I'm typing this at 4AM in Houston, with my head still spinning, one side of my nose blocked and phlegm getting stuck deep down my throat. Advice 1#, never blog when.. Fuck I don't even know how to continue. To think I am gonna fly back to Moscow with this, COLD COLD MOSCOW.

PS: Dear God, please help me to survive through the boring channels and bone-bitin' winter for my next ZRH(I MISS LONDON)

Pharrell Williams - Prettiest Girls(Despicable Me OST)

2010-09-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

Cutest song a father can sing to his daughters =) Wait, I don't think Pharrell is referring to his kids(does he have any?)

the unheard and the unseen

2010-09-26T02:41:00.001+08:00

Had drinks with my set of crew yesterday night in my room and apart from gossiping and bitching(who doesn't?), one of the hottest topics always came about is none other than scary stories and experiences. I have to say, this GS with us, Aaron, has a lot of stories and one of them actually made the hair on my back stand.

Though I believe that around us, there are other 'society' that can't be seen with naked eyes, the few popular stations mostly shared are Jakarta, Denpasar, Narita, Male, Zurich, Frankfurt and Seoul. Sometimes 'they' might just travel with us onboard(creepy..).

My Dad, on the other hand, had his one time experience that actually changed his habit of switching on the hotel room toilet's light before going to bed. I realized this change when he didn't do it anymore or he would ask us not to leave the lights on during our trips. Mom told me about it few years back and it totally creeps me out. This happened in Genting Highlands for more about 10 years ago when we always went up to Genting for family trips.

For Malaysians and regular visitors to Genting Highlands, we all know that this apartment called Apartment Ria is one of the oldest buildings there and was widely known as 'unclean'. But since there are so many of us and my parents would want us to stay together, they always got a room from Apartment Ria instead of hotel rooms. Siblings would be in a room, except for my youngest bro, who would be sleeping with my parents.

When we were younger, Dad always have this habit of making sure all of us were in bed and making sure that all the doors are locked. So he left the master bedroom toilet lights on and slept.

Middle of the night, he woke up and suddenly just turned to the direction of the toilet on his left. Door was left open and there he saw a silhouette of a young child or rather very short person, peeping him from the corner of the door. He went back to sleep(chillaxxx..) and luckily it was the last day of our stay. Till today, he isn't very sure if its a dream or if its real but he is sure thankful that nothing happened.

Mom even brought up another family trip to Port Dickson when I was still an infant and she said once we stepped into this bungalow we rented, I kept crying non stop for more than a few hours. Then they felt uneasy and stayed elsewhere on that particular day. Well, Mom, probably I was just hungry. Heh heh.. Well I was too young so I can't remember anything other than that ugly mushroom hairstyle I had.

I have my fair share of paranormal experiences for the past 24 years but fingers crossed, all of them were rather short-term or just a passer by. As paranoid as it may seemed, my brain only function well in a dimmed place and I have to sleep in a pitch black room. Guess I've always believe what my Mom said to me, "If you don't disturb them, they won't disturb you. Never fear but don't be ignorantly nonchalant."

* don't be too sure it is empty under your bed. heh heh heh.. *

onthemilkywaywithyou

2010-09-21T16:14:00.002+08:00

"Is that a shooting star? Let's make a wish!"

Up till today, I'm not sure if that was my first encounter with a shooting star but I'm very sure that most of us(or should I say, all of us) were made to believe that wishes do come true if you wish them upon a shooting star. That was back in end of 2003, after our major examinations before we(FINALLY) bid farewell to high school. My circle of hometown friends whom I grew up with during my high school days and I were on a trip to Penang(somewhere different from our usual boring annual Genting trip)and it was also my first trip with my boyfriend then, A.

Lazing on the beach, under the dark sky with only the light from the moon gently shone onto the quiet land. Booze(still underage but youngsters being young punks)and loads of cock-talking, I wished the night will never end. Only a few good friends knew my current state that time and I've never told anyone what did I wish for that night; wishes are to be kept if you want them to be realized.

Well it obviously didn't come true so what the heck?

"Dear Shooting Star, please keep my family safe, happy and healthy. I don't know what I did in my past life to have such a blessed and close knitted family. As much as they love me, they would want to protect me from harm. So here's my last wish, S, please let them accept A, just like how I accept him for who he is with me and believe in us by watching the joy he brought into my life."

Like I've mentioned, it didn't happen. Not the part about him making me happy, but the part about my family accepting him. They were still going against me seeing him. I fought to be with him, and I stuck to this true relationship.

But being in an underground relationship, for 2 and a half years, things began to be rocky as we didn't know how long can we keep this from my family. We called it off about a month before my fashion show graduation. Then I questioned myself, how did some couples make it, knowing that their families disapprove their relationship? Am I missing the courage in me? Whatever it is, it was too late to change anything.

I didn't gaze into the sky for quite long, even during my Redang trip in 2006. I didn't want to be reminded how childish I was to believe in such myth.

Last year, I was already in SQ and had my first trip to Male with the best set of crew. It was a 5 days' flight and rain only came on our last day in Male. One of the nights, I made my first contact with the stars again after 6 years. Think that I had overcome my grief.

Stars will be more visible when you are watching them from a very dark place, away from city lights and if you keep staring into the darkness. The amazing thing I find out bout our eyes is that they work like a telescope, just let them adjust to the surroundings and slowly the small dots will start to populate. I fell in love again.

From that moment onwards, I've been watching stars from my bedroom in SIN before I sleep. Sometimes I might mistook the aircraft landing into Changi Airport as one of them(yeah so the stars are quite bright).

The last I saw a shooting star(again, I'm not sure if it is a shooting star) was this year, few days before my birthday, in Santorini Greece. I know it is dangerous to wander around foreign lands alone but that didn't stop me. So I walked to the other side of the apartment where we were accommodating, the side that was facing the sea. I saw the familiar flash in the dark sky.

Immediately I remembered back the days I spent in Penang, I was in the arms of the man I first fell so hard for, in a company of my group of good friends and visions of how life after high school would be. I remembered the wish I made, the wish that didn't come true. There is a little child in everyone to keep them believing in tales they knew when they were young. So even though I was disappointed years ago, I still made my wish to the lucky stars.

What did I wish for? Heck haven't you been reading? Wishes are to be kept if you want them to be realized. Whoever knew what I had been through that time would guess right what my wish was and how desperate I want it to come true.

All I can say is, since my efforts had gone down the drain, I'll just wait for my last resort, Fate, to do her miracles.

PS: One of the girls found a sand sized shiny thing on the shore in Male. It was bright blue-white in color and according to my ranking stewardess, she said it is actually small particle of corals. These type of corals can be found in the deep ocean. As we walked further, there were more white shiny dots on the shore. Now I think of it, it reminded me one part of Sentosa near the Luge, where they have something similar but they're lights on the floor. Scientifically, they are particles of corals. To me? They're fallen stars for us to believe that stars can be caught :)

*each small step I take may take a long time, but at least I'm moving on *

Bread - Make It With You

2010-09-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

love for back home

2010-09-10T10:21:00.004+08:00

It is true when they say, "when reality strikes dream, your vision changes"

"Who will you save if you see your Mom and your husband drowns?"

I was hesitant at first and it took me a good 15 minutes to think. Coming from a girl's school, who have happily married parents and never had a guy friend till I was in secondary school(yeah yeah, VIRGIN ME). This question came to me first when I was twelve(which is exactly twelve years ago - FTS).

Till recently, I think it is quite a popular question to sort of "judge" how a person is, the question was thrown back at me. In a split second, I said, "Mom."

They, of course, asked why. "You know you really love this guy and there is no way in hell you can ever find another man like this."

"If hell is where I'll find him, prolly I'll meet him there. Mom's love is undying."

Well then they asked another question, "how about if your child and your Mom?"

All right this is quite random and I didn't thought of that. However, I gave one of the oddest answers they've ever heard. "It's either I'll drown with them, or I'll save them both and drown myself."

My family has been the most inspiring people in my life and I believe that if I were to have a little one with me, I would want him or her to know who made Mommy such a person. I'd like to still believe in happily ever after, but I guess it ain't gonna happen. But the fairytale I witness happening in my family, is the real happily ever after. It doesn't really matter to me anymore.

I love you guys back home and I really miss you all. I'm really sorry that I sound a lil emo in this post but it is just a thought that ran through my mind. Can't wait to see you guys.

Blood is after all, thicker than water.

* funny how i don't anymore miss the sun that woke us up every morning *

nothing but skin and bone 040910

2010-09-08T01:27:00.008+08:00

UK, to be more precise, London is officially my favorite station. So if any one of you jokers who hate flying to London, whether be it SQ318 or SQ308, just throw them this way! Initially H&M was my 'must-visit' store for my every trip to London but right now, thanks to my hometown buddy, YiWei, I was addicted to All Saints.

I hope I didn't portray myself as a shopaholic cos I really am not. I don't stay in a store for more than half an hour and I don't have the mindset that I have to buy at least one thing from every store that I step in, unless if I feel that I've troubled the sales promoter too much(how nice of me.) Apart from the amazing stores there, there's no communication barrier and people won't give you the snobbish look for speaking English(we ALL know where those people are from).

We started our day on an early Saturday noon and headed down to Nottinghill as there is a weekend street market along Portobello Street. Think my family might like to visit the first section of this market as it is the 'Antique Goods' section. If it weren't for the check in weight limit and the risk of breaking anyone's backbone, I'd like to grab this grandfather clock I saw and it looks like a smaller version of the one I have back home in Klang. (some photos were taken from Yi Wei's Facebook - tee hee)

a collection of keepsakes boxes

As we kept walking, I thought I was in the 'Sleepy Hollow' scene when I saw two headless couple! I was quite shocked at first then I thought again, "How long do they need to bend like that?"
Money is hard to get these days. I'm gonna marry some dying rich old man(did I just hear thunder?)

The thing about living in overseas is the craving for your hometown delicacy. Even a simple pohpiah or roti canai is good enough to satisfy the craving. So Yi Wei and his two other housemates, Yisuen and Kat(I hope I spell it correctly), did their research and found a Malaysian restaurant in Portobello called, MAKAN. Best of all, they even have teh tarik! Which reminds me, I really should plan my next Geylang Serai teh tarik session with Faz("stupid batchgirl went missing on me again").
Somewhere in the market, there was a small art exhibition right under the railway track bridge so we decided to check it out. Some masterpieces(I always categorize artwork as masterpiece)are done on canvas while some are drawn on the concrete wall. They are all very nicely done and my favorite would have to be the somewhat 20 feet African lady in black and white. Another photo from my previous post is also from the same exhibition, a photo of a pregnant woman with her husband on his knees, kissing the little miracle in her womb.

The girls got their yoghurt from a store called "Bee Me"(so cute) and one of the most effective marketing strategies is hire good looking people. I'm not being superficial but look at A&F! They have half naked men in jeans standing outside the store! So people, stop working so hard. I think I remember Chia said something like this, "Rule of thumb. Good looking people get away things pretty easily - LOOK AT US".

Freak brother of mine.

yisuen's oreo yoghurt

kat's strawberry yoghurt

Since I've mentioned about All Saints in the beginning, I'll never miss the store in Portobello even though I had been to the one in Westfield the day before and got a shock of my life when the cashier lady scanned the barcode of one of my items. Again, money is tough to get but contentment like this is hard to find. Since you can't bring money to your grave *grins*(Why do I keep hearing thunder when it comes to topic bout money?) ALL SAINTS RULE.

the Gothic concept of putting up thousands of old sewing machines in the store is SO KEWL.

I bought a painting from a lady, who claimed that it was painted by her brother, but me being someone who always give people a benefit of doubt and I love the painting, I got it for GBP25. It was a black and white painting of Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck on a Vespa in 1953's 'Roman Holiday'. Still haven't figured out where should I put it.

Weather in London was surprisingly beautiful and sunny during the day but cold breeze came during the evening. It had been quite a long day and walk. Luckily I was wearing my most comfortable ankle boots from Bangkok(BKK SHOES ARE TO DIE FOR) and being a vain pot, I decided to be tall that day. Of all better days.
So our last itinerary was to watch 'Wicked'. Unfortunately the only one left are out of our budgets. Then we went down to Leicester Square and secretly prayed for 'Avenue Q' to be available with reasonable price. I've always wanted to watch 'Avenue Q' since I missed it when it came down to Singapore. Plus reviews have been exceptionally good for this play. Our prayers were answered. Yay!It is a puppet show and I'm sure the question circling around to a number of people who haven't heard of 'Avenue Q' - why aren't there any kids? Dude, thank God there are no kids. As the matter of fact, I picked it because there is NO kids. I sound like a child-hater but come on, I don't need that kind of judgment till you see me with my own child.

I've not been laughing so hard and the facial expressions of the casts were so hilarious since we can't really depend 100% on the stationary expressions of the puppets. Adult themes that brought into this play are homosexuality, racism, pornography, and not to mention, abundant profanity in dialogue. Apart from that, it was pretty realistic as most of the plots are based on our everyday lives such as our seeking for purpose in life and that we're not any more 'special' than others(one of their songs is 'It Sucked to be Me').

It isn't a play to degrade the audiences or to show that the world is unfair(well it is in fact unfair), but it is a comedic way to show how reality can play tricks and it is all about how to face a thing out. When shit happens, 'Why' will be the first to knock on your door but it should be kicked out after a while so 'How' can step in.

Recording or phototaking are not allowed in the theater but I don't know which joker managed to secretly record one of the scenes of Trekkie Monster, the perverted monster who sounds like Cookie Monster and Kate Monster(no they're not related). Kate is a kindergarten teacher and she was asked to replace her head teacher for a day so she thought that she'd like to teach her students about internet.

Trekkie, then came into the picture and convinced Kate that the sole reason why people surf internet is porn. The best part is when Kate asked Trekkie angrily, "Who in the world only sits in front of the computer, just to surf PORN?!"

The whole room laughed and Trekkie was staring away with a straight face from Kate, at the laughing audiences. Then he just took a step closer to the audiences at the first row and scanned around. He pointed slowly at one of the bald male audiences and shook his head like "I know you just did it at work, didn't you?"

Sigh. I've never watched Sesame Street before when I was young cos I hate characters with huge eyes and small dot irises. Mmm.. If only Sesame Street were like Avenue Q, I know I'd grow up watching it.

If I have another London next month, I would wanna catch it again before it ends in October 30. Guys, if you haven't watch it, it is definitely a must to watch! Entertainment for the adults and I can assure you, there is no kids in the theater asking their parents, "Dad, is it normal for a man to be with a man?"

PS: Oh yeah, 2 of my crew whom I've worked with for both sectors actually thought of an English name for me. Yes I still introduce myself as Yen Chi and my name will eventually become 'Yen Zi' or 'Angie' after I stepped into the aircraft. It was hilarious when I first heard the name as reason one, my freaks won't acknowledge me by that name(they'll laugh out loud even before saying it), reason two, it is freaking long and I guess the speaker might run out of breath before finishing his/her sentence. It is. Barbarella. Which I found out from a friend, "it is actually a name of a fiction SPG in some Singapore TV series". WHAT?! I have nothing against SPG or ang mohs(please don't shoot me) but in other words, been there, done that, not keen. And I still love the name my late grandmother gave me. Tough on you.

* my gene is good enough to make beautiful babies - i have egomania siblings in singapore *

to err is human, to forgive divine

2010-09-07T00:29:00.003+08:00

Sitting at Mr.Bean's cafe on last Tuesday night after watching 'Grown Ups' in Cathay, nothing beats a good talk with an open mind(and of course the other party has to be open minded as well). As we were chatting over a drink, Aaron brought up a topic about sin. How sinless can a human being be?

The funniest thing he ever said was the part where he said he was in the confession box with a Father on the other side, he told Father the usual thing like, "Forgive me, Father, for I've sinned. I've been tempted by greed, lust.."

"Are you confessing sincerely or what?"
*silence*

I was telling him, DUDE he knows what you've done and you are so saying it just to follow the routine! In the end, Father made him spilled the beans and OK, as a favor to my good chat buddy here(or else he's not gonna talk to me about anything EVER), I'll not mention anything about his confessions. I said in my heart, oh well at least I'm sure I'm gonna be seeing a familiar face in Hell. Hahaha!

Thinking about myself, if I were in the confession box, I seriously have no idea how long will I stay in there.

Yes, everyone has, had and tried-not-to-but-in-the-end, give in to temptations and this little magnet has been around since the born of Adam and Eve. Some might do it out of many different factors, be it curiosity or emotions.

However, not many are able to accept the consequences and honestly, I don't know whether to categorize them as cowards or just human, they will just run away from their mistakes. Giving themselves false hopes that everything will die down soon and worse, leaving the affected ones still affected.

Enough said, I've given myself too much false hopes. Too much.

Though I've learnt many things within a short period the hard way, but like what my parents always taught me, "you swallow whatever you bring up yourself". In other words, if you dare to leap, you dare to fall. But always rise back up for others to watch.

Sorry to stay low for so long, guys. Chi Chi's back.
'

an artwork i saw in an art exhibition in London. stunning. when miracle happens, you would want it to protect it forever. nobody can measure the will of a human until you see how deep the cut is when the grip is loosen.

* senior? junior? fuck you. i'm teh yen chi. *

it came back

2010-09-06T01:46:00.000+08:00

how long is it gonna last?

* you know where to find me - inception *

fatigue created immunity

2010-08-30T02:40:00.004+08:00

everything is so quiet all of a sudden. not even a sound of the night crickets. i stare out, darkness swallows the brightest star, leaving the moon to shine upon this desperate world.

frank sinatra's "thing we did last summer" is played over and over again. vera lynn's "we'll meet again" is slowly disappointing me.

winter is knocking.

fine.

bite me bone deep till spring arrives. i couldn't care less about anything anymore.

* a stranger looks back at me in the mirror *

our days are numbered - who the fuck invented numbers?

2010-08-26T00:48:00.005+08:00

Recently I just got 2 awesomely cheap books(yeah I do read) from bookstore that had a clearance sales in Brisbane, 'How to be Single' by Liz Tuccillo and 'Act like a Lady, Think like a Man' by Steve Harvey. Before you make any assumptions, please proceed reading.

I brought them along with me to Auckland, a flight I was activated for. Almost last minute. Though Auckland is a boring station(to ME) and I still don't know why am I not getting Christchurch yet, but the pros are, money is good, no shopping streets for me to splurge on, on good days I might have cute NZ rowing team onboard(sigh good lo' days), and not to mention, my HKG turn was disrupted. I'm so sorry to the one who is called up for that flight and I swear to God, I wouldn't even report sick for that flight if I had the chance. I believe that it will eventually come back to me on my next new roster and worst scenario, A380 HKG(yeah this one's 777). Karma strikes faster than good deed - that always happen don't cha think?

Usually I'd bring a book with me in every station and read it while I have my breakfast buffet in the hotel.

"Cheh wanna look literate."

Better than reading boring gossip magazines like OK!. Anyway the feeling is truly relaxing and gratifying. Last time when I saw a person reading in the Starbucks or just in the park, first thing that went into my mind, "lifeless". Such a bitch. Now I'm one of those suckers.

One time when I was in Sydney, I brought Hal Urban's 'The 10 Commandments of Common Sense' and as its tagline goes, 'Wisdom from the Scriptures for People of All Beliefs'. I've never read books like these before, which have elements from the wisdom or sayings passed down from wisemen(and women). However lemme clarify on this, I don't mean that I wasn't happy or needed a book to show me how to lead my life(JUST GIMME A SIGN DAWG!). In fact, I was very happy back then cos I knew of someone who had a massive breakdown and I wanted to be the pillar. Well it doesn't matter now.

I know a book cover is the main selling point in marketing. What stands out the most? Of course, color, human eyes are superficial and lazy. We detect something we like to see first before using our brains to digest what we see. Brains only come in when we read the title of the book. Bad part is, people will know what you're reading and most of them(I repeat, MOST of them) would judge you from there. That's why I asked you to continue reading - I have my reasons to buying these books. Or not. After a few incidents, I had the thought of wrapping every single books of mine before I bring them out.

Bout my breakfast in Sydney, an old Asian lady(I won't state nationalities here) who was next to me saw what I was reading and she asked, "Are you Christian?"

I said, "No, I'm Buddhist."

"Oh I thought you are cos you're reading the Ten Commandments." Then she just looked away and had this obvious You-Are-Not-Up-To-My-Standard look(don't tell me I'm being overly sensitive cos I know a stuck up when I see one). Excuse me, lao zha bo? It says here, 'for People of All Beliefs' and you arrogant lil' grey headed curly topsy better hope God missed you on that. But she has a nice diamond ring though. WHERE IS JUSTICE?

Me being someone who always have a soft spot for grey haired people(including Mr.Clooney and Mr.Gere), I swallowed my anger and resumed to where I was interrupted.

So if a book I read portrays what I really am, screw Facebook, Internet MatchMaking and blind dates. Everyone should just bring one book out with them everyday and see if you can find your missing jigsaw. For ultimately desperate ladies can carry books like 'Diamonds are Crap', 'Ways to Make a Man Happy', or 'I Can't Read, Lie or Complain'. Men will rush and grab you like an extinct creature.

Regarding the books I just bought, Liz Tucillo's is obviously a fun book to read(since some of my friends said I'm too old for comic books and laughed when they saw Slamdunk in my room - they're STILL AWESOME), and Steve Harvey's more like, injecting other people's views into my brain and understanding them. Much have said about people who judge others according to book in their hands, yet my book(How to be Single) still get a second look from some people in Starbucks that rainy Sunday morning in Auckland. The title may seemed quite wrong cos it made me look promiscuous but like us human beings, appearance doesn't tell the whole story of its Master's heart.

In other words, don't judge the book by its cover.

PS: 'How to be Single' actually portrays quite an urm.. 'straying' impression on men. That includes religious men. But the final line of the book lights up my hope a little, "Miracles happen every day". Call me naive.

* a single soldier dies in vain when it's not even his war *

tenfourtwentyten condemns my guts.

2010-08-20T10:14:00.000+08:00

People watching isn't always a bad thing. It's a different story if you are sitting with a bunch of superficial observers. I try to cut down that habit but of course, when you're hanging out with the group you're comfortable with, you just can't help it.

"BITCH YOU THINK YOU DAMN HOT AH?!"

Shit you lah if you dare to say you are not a superficial person. Let's face it, everyone judges. Best example, when you are being interviewed. First impression always do the talking. Followed by whatever crap you write in your resume and whatever Superman capabilities you have just to get the job.

All right getting back to my half an hour people watching outside in the shopping street, in Brisbane, I was sitting on the bench, with my green bag filled with my groceries and another bag from Supre(yeah I made all my AUS stations worth while) in between my legs. Me being me, when I put on my windowless face, I will start to reminiscence things such as, what if I didn't do this? What if I stay back in KL and get stuck doing office jobs? What if I didn't make it into SQ? What if I didn't do what I did?

Then I recall what a friend said to me, do you know how many people would wish to be in your shoes? People would wish to travel and see the world. The world isn't really my main priority right now. My priority is holding onto the people who have important roles in my life. Currently.

Well the grass is always greener on the other side. So I will make full use and try to accept that my brown almost dead grass will be green again. Happy summer just ended, gloomy autumn is staying for now, cold winter then psychos the sane and desperate and in a blink, blooming spring will mark a new beginning.

I'm not saying that I regret doing anything I've done in the past. As the matter of fact, I am GLAD. An opportunity for me to turn back time will be a waste cos I will do the same all over again.

'God as my witness, Faith as my companion, I stand on my own.' - just help me Chia, give me the website to getting gorgeous font and we're on.

this is some fucking old photo lah. even before i started flying!

* i was too careless. my guards are back up. high and solid. *

DIE YOU DIE!!

2010-08-19T00:33:00.002+08:00

I was conned again.

After a long shower, I walked to the kitchen to hang my laundry and saw this lil' siu keong crawling out from the kitchen - heading to what I thought was to the main door. So I thought, all right buddy. I'm in a pretty good mood as the flight from Brisbane was a good one. Out you go. FREE YOURSELF.

Then I was hanging my laundry, and turned back - it FLEW INTO THE KITCHEN! ARGHHH!!

Luckily it was flying in circle(very slowly) in and out of the kitchen before it landed. I was told before, that roaches can only fly when they're at high places. So I grabbed the broom, very close to crushing it. AND IT FLEW AGAIN! WHICH MF TOLD ME THAT IT CAN ONLY FLY FROM HIGH PLACES?!

Yeah I was doing some Matrix stunts with this lil' fella before the fight finally came to an end. The most disgusting part was crushing it with tissue just to make sure it's not faking dead(you can't FAKE with me!). Oh God, suddenly I don't feel sleepy anymore.

Eww.. I'm still cringing and can hear the wings flapping as I type. FUCKING DISGUSTING CREATURE. Sorry, in this house, there can only be one cockroach - thats HOT MOMMA ME.

* operator! give me the number for 911! - homer simpson(still cracks me up) *

a walk in my imaginary garden wedding.

2010-08-14T23:47:00.002+08:00

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

How often do your heart screams, NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME? Or probably how frequent do you sigh and roll your eyes when people begin to question you? Or maybe are you guilty of clinching your fist after someone says, "But I think.." when you try to tell your reason?

An advice for friends who try to be supportive and yet reasonable to this category of people, don't bother being reasonable. An agreement is what they're seeking for. A punch in the face may be the next thing coming into your mind but nothing in life is like a movie, where you slap someone and that person will suddenly see the light. If it's that easy, movies will be put into our education system. Drew Barrymore will be a teacher. MY teacher.

One of the hardest things to do is trying to stand still. I remembered Mom loved (wait, and still does) to topple us by using her knee to hit the back of our knee unknowingly. Same theory, anyone can attack us without any notice even when we're standing still and confident. We will never know when will we be a target or when did we put ourselves in line for execution.

As many times as we tried to make people see what we're facing, everyone has different points of view. Sometimes it may get quite exhausting that we, ourselves eventually give up and say only we can deal with this. Same thing is happening to me right now, I'm tired of explaining and repeating myself. So I just keep my silence.

When society started to point blames at my direction, I thought back, why have I been taking into account of what other people feel instead of thinking what I really want? I don't blame my upbringing, my family taught me selflessness can bring contentment. What I blame is cruelty I let myself go through.

The fact is, no one can walk in our shoes. I've always been putting myself in other people's shoes, trying to reason them for their actions, trying to understand that at times, people make their decisions by making wrong choices.

Here's a simple formula, my choice for my own understanding.

PS: I love my shoes to the core.

* when dreams felt so real, i don't wanna wake up at all *

Mars vs Venus

2010-08-11T05:05:00.003+08:00

Men are still figuring out why women would spend a bomb on an ordinary looking handbag(it's HERMES you IDIOT). Women are still complaining why men have more concentration on the sports newscaster than on us(nice lingerie honey, where did you ge.. FUCK HOW CAN THAT BE A YELLOW CARD!). Yes, that is in our era today. I don't know what do the prehistoric couples used to argue about but I'm pretty sure this problem has been around for the longest time.

I'm no expert in understanding men, I don't even really understand women sometimes.

This topic came in when I was having lunch with my set of crew and I was talking to one of the guys when he said he would prefer chicken breast. Not because it's breast, but because it is less hassle comparing to other parts of a chicken where you gotta slowly separate the flesh from the bone. So I asked him, "Are you the type of person who only seeks for 'easy access' then?"

What I was trying to mean by 'easy access' is that it didn't matter if he doesn't get it at the first try. Quite true. He said, "well I always think that there are other fishes in the ocean. I think in general, men are all like that. We're lazy bums."

Of course we didn't mention anything about sex positions(you guys know it yourselves) but then he continued, "That's the difference between a man and a woman. A man only need half an hour to shop while you ladies will need a day to be in the shop." - OK, I kinda disagree on this cos I'm a fast but reckless shopper.

Men need to categorize their duties and can only fulfill them one by one just to keep them on track without any disruptions. Women, the other hand, are able to multitask better. We can perform in ways that sometimes it's amazing to realize that we only have two hands(HURRAH TO THE LADIES). Which is why at times we'll wonder why can't men be the same? Mmm.. Well it'll be weird to suddenly see your partner cutting his toenails, reading the papers, with a handphone between his ear and shoulder, "Hey Bob, whatchu doin? Ohh.. Nothing much, just call to chat.. Oh-Em-Gee they broke up?!"

However one more thing he did bring up is that though men always think that there are other fishes in the ocean, but once if he really likes that particular person, you can see the efforts he will put in and you'll be surprised with what he can shower you with. Mmm.. What we're saying here is in GENERAL. Please do not quote me aite?

As we discussed more, we both agreed that even though many studies had been done on Mars and Venus, every individual is different. We are all brought up in different ways, taught differently, and experiences mould us into who we are. So whatever it is, if you want to know someone, don't try to study them(my bio on Facebook). Experiencing life together is the best introduction about someone.

He concluded with,

"A man's mind is like a box. They can't multitask but once if you're in his box, he will give you all the concentration you want. Just give your man a break."

My reply?

"What 'man'?"

PS: Oh yeah, this guy is also someone you wouldn't (or would!) wanna go shopping with. Cos if you ask him whether should you buy whatever the purchase is, his standard line would be, "If you buy this, the most you'll just spend are 30 minutes of your time and probably a lot of money. At least you're happy. If you don't buy this, you'll spend the rest of your life regretting."

* the best time of my life started when i was pissed drunk in outside a Chinese restaurant in One Fullerton *

Gladys Knight - Since I Fell For You

2010-08-08T02:07:00.000+08:00

beauty of crow's feet

2010-08-02T00:14:00.003+08:00

smile [smīl]
one's features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed

Being in the service line, the smile has to permanent once we clad in our uniforms. Whenever I have a horrible day just before work, I thought to myself, nobody deserves that melancholy expression(yes that includes those arrogant people who come onboard and change your name to Strait Times). Easier said than done, you may say. But I have to admit, there are quite a handful of people who are truly grateful of our efforts in making their days a better one.

The best candidate would have to be my little newborn niece, Baby Zoey. BZ has never failed to do that, no matter what she does. Poop, laugh, fart, sneeze continuously, baby talk with picture of the little cover toddler her Mom pasted on her wardrobe door(WOO trust me, and sometimes she even laughs to herself), grip your finger with her little hand, or even stare blankly. This is the advantage of being a baby, they get away from anything and their special power is giving us the big doe-eyed innocent look.

Whether be it a fake or a genuine one, nothing calms a heart and mind down better than a smile. Especially when you put it on someone else's face. And when that particular person is someone who really matters to you,

"Thanks, this is the first time I'm smiling for today."

You don't need to paint your face silly and blow balloons to entertain people. That job is already taken and they have a name for that occupation. However, due to the classic movie 'IT', more fear them than love them(SUE STEPHEN KING).

Sometimes the simplest gesture will just do. Like sending simple SMSes to those you care, an appreciative thank-you, offering your seat in the MRT to those who need it, helping a lost tourist, a big fat CHEQUE - *crick*crick* ok that's not a simple gesture but I think money CAN buy me happiness. Quite instantly. Materialistic bitch(oh shut up).

Yes it is true, the face of the receiver may mirror the expression on your face. I'll stress this word, 'MAY'. You may put on the Grammy Award winning smile and some of them, let's just say, can be quite a pain in the ass. Do not let them affect you. We are all actors and actresses and the world is our stage.

A smile a day, keeps you younger everyday. If it doesn't, there is always Botox =)

* i've wasted too much time with a frowning heart, its time to come back *

you cant copy the expert

2010-08-01T21:11:00.003+08:00

mind can do wonders. eyes can detect the unusual. words can tell lies. truth may not be as complicated as what we think. but not all truth can be accepted by you and me. and not all truth is known to people, other than the one who has the truth. bet it's killing them and their silence.

* deceive your mind to ease. be honest to insomnia. *

OCD 280710

2010-07-29T20:21:00.010+08:00

just had my best celebration on my 24th birthday and special thanks to my fanfckintastic freaks with absolute awesome creative minds and of course, to those who made it happen yesterday night.

the day started out with me, being all alone at home the whole day, waiting for Chia's pick up at 8PM. though it was my birthday, i thought, so what? it's just another day to other people. i was being bitter. how sad right? initially i had plans to go to town to collect my uniform and have lunch with a friend but i was just being a bump. girls at home wished me happy birthday but each had their own plans;

Kah Ean; goin' over Weslly's place and then goin' back KL the next day
Myera; goin' Sentosa with Christian to Tanjong Beach
Athena; just came back from Miri and headin' dinner with Andy

at first i was like, aite you girls enjoy! and i'm gonna get drunk. alone. wahahhaha thats sad man. and bitter.

ANYWAY Chia came and picked me from the usual place, he then blindfolded me with his old SQ necktie. walking around like a blind man with Chia as my assistant, Ili and Bert came to his rescue and i thought i heard Ili said, "Let's go, we're going Batam! Do you hear the ferry??"apart from being bad at being punctual, Ili's also a horrible liar. i just put my trust in these freaks and let them lead me.

with the necktie smudging my eyeliner and fake lashes, i was begging Chia to let me take it off. no. 20 minutes later, it came off and to my surprise, it really was my biggest surprise party! everyone was clad in white attire and i was the only girl in black to stand out among these white sperms(forgot who actually said that, "ehh do you think we look like sperms?"). ROFL! as much as i hate to wear a tiara, it was my birthday and it was loan to me by none other than Myera, who has everything pink, naughty and princess-y in her room.yes, all my house bunnies were there too! so shweet and they made it for me! HEART YOU GIRLS.the freaks booked a place in Aranda Country Club, Pasir Ris for the party(and after party knock out), it was totally awesome! none of us need to worry who gets to be the drunk one and who gets to be the babysitter! the white birthday muffins were gorgeous and cocktail for the night was of course, Chia's favorite, Malibu Pineapple. some were at the BBQ pit, some were at the smoking pit and some(including myself) were at the gossip pit.too much fun to post about(and i couldn't even really remember what happened that night) but all i can remember is i had the best night with the coolest people i've known.

thanks again guys. you just made a drunk birthday girl happy =)

* thanks john, i will definitely remember the last thing you said to me that night *

grand finale 24 - 250710

2010-07-28T18:18:00.007+08:00

Before this trip, I always assume that Santorini is overly exaggerated. Experiences shared by colleagues and comments from travel websites don't interest me. Since the existence of Photoshop and digital cameras, I've lost my trust in photographs. Most can be captivating but it is short-lived. "You have exactly 24 hours to show me what you've got."

The journey from Athens to Santorini was about 4 hours by ferry and we paid EUR129 for a round trip. It was quite comfortable(except that Josephine and I were seated right under the air-condition) and we slept throughout the whole journey. As we stepped out from the ship, I silently screamed, "HURRAH FOR SUNBLOCKS!!" I brought 3 bottles of sunblock(bwakakak).. I've learnt my lesson well cos I was badly burnt in Adelaide and it's not flattering at all to see very obvious bikini line. Seriously, Helios is here to stay for now.However my greater challenge was being a left hand driver and driving on a 2-lane narrow road, along the cliff, was just heart pumping. Yes. Even if it meant scaring my fellow travelers a couple of times(sorry guys). Luckily driving has always been a passion to me every time the gentle vibration runs through my leg whenever I accelerate.Each of us took turns to drive but Josephine made the start of the trip. We got an auto Peugeot 107 for EUR55 and the gear was pretty amusing if you ask me. It only has R, N, E, M(for manual) + and -. Quite lost. Then we headed down to Erato Apartment in Firastefani, for check in and the rooms were reasonably cheap(EUR85 per room for 2 pax). Location wise is pretty convenient as it is right in the centre of Santorini and very near to the Central Fira.

our lil yellow ride.

The whole island isn't very big but the misguided maps and missing road signs weren't helpful at all so we made a few stops to ask the locals for directions. Which they willingly helped even though there were some communication problems.Our first stop was Ancient Thera and even though it was just 10 minutes to closing, the guy only charged us EUR1 for 3 tickets(original price was EUR3 per ticket!). And we RUSHED(as in really RUSHED) all the way up to the ruins. Luckily it wasn't a waste to run all the way up cos the scenery is just spectacular. Sky was cloudless and blue, and the sun is just perfect for perfect pictures.

shy lifeguard in black beach.. tee hee..

Just at the bottom of Ancient Thera is the Kamari Beach also known as the Black Beach. Instead of black sand, they look more like small pebbles. We walked on the platform along the beach cos the sand was freaking HOT but the water was so cold! Why do I have my menses now?!So yes, as I've mentioned, misguided maps and missing road signs also lead us to the wrong places. Instead of bringing us to the Red Beach, we were stuck on another hilltop where the military air traffic signal building is -_-" That didn't stop our cameras from snapping more photos!red beach

As we covered the most Southern parts of Santorini, we drove up to Oia, Northern part of Santorini. It is where all sunset watchers would go but I thought, I've seen a sunset from Lycabettus Hill in Athens during my first trip last year and we fly so often that dawn and dusk are common to us. But this sunset, is just - different.OK before I bring you to the sunset part, let me explain how Oia is. IT IS FUCKING GORGEOUS. I guess that explains it all. FUCKING GORGEOUS I SAY. I know I did say that I don't trust in photographs anymore(yeah I still don't and I don't believe I look like me in photos), but its really breath taking when I first laid my eyes here.Quite a short introduction on Oia but this is the best part. This lil sneaky island took me away when she pulled her last trigger. Like most fashion shows, there is always a finale and the Queen of Light is the grand finale. Slowly she glide down appreciating the attention from her worshipers and just as she took a final bow before sinking into the sea, everyone applauded, cheered and said good night.
Most spectators there were honeymoon couples, if not old couples(so shweet). One of my fellow traveller felt a little emotional when he suddenly said, "I miss my girlfriend." - excuse me, this is the singlehood ship.
Santorini proved herself within half a day and I believe if I were to come back in future for more days, she will astonished me with greater masterpieces she has hidden. Well, I will be back. That time, I will pack a Greek guy back =)

queen of the night is up (WAZZA!!..)

* keep digging - amuse me *

wtf post?

2010-07-15T01:15:00.003+08:00

OK I'm quite surprised to see that my blog is still around. And there are few new applications on blogspot so this shows how long I've not been logging in and updating my blog. From my last update to now, it seemed like a short break but it's amazing how so many things can happen in such a short time.
Apart from this blog, I'm also blogging in BeatnikFiction.com, something that my freaks just came up with. Though I'm only the 'seamstress from China'(as Ili put it), it has been fun to be part of this family. It is rather new but there will be new updates coming up! It has been quite a task for Ili cos she is the one in charge of the website and she HAS to be cos on that night over at Chia's, Chia and I had the most clueless cockfaces ever in the history of mankind when we saw what Ili was doing with the page. I told her, "WAHH.. Li Li, you're so cleverrr.."
"Shuddup larr.." - her usual reply.
For those who have me on Facebook might think, "Yeah yeah got time to get drunk but no time to update.."

Excuse me. Yo. Gua suka lah(si chao ah lian)..

Oh yeah, lets not forget the little new family member, Zoey Chin! God she never fails to put a smile on everyone's face. It is true what they say about babies, they grow very fast and I'm just gonna wait till she's about 2 years old when I can start dressing her up. This lil adorable thing can sometimes be quite sneaky. Once she feels that she's being ignored, she'll cry for it and that really terrifies Dad. A lot. She is after all born in the year of a Tiger(just like her little Beh Yi here).
Every trip home is such a rewarding one especially when everyone is back home. The best time would have to be night cos that is the time everyone is at home and we'll just sit and chat(in other words, gossip). Even lil' Zoey is starting to gossip too. Just to the picture of another small girl which my 2nd sis placed in her room. Before my trip back, Mom will always pop the question, "What do you want to eat this time?"

HAHAHA probably because recently when I flew back home, she realized that I've lost weight(which I still don't think I did) and asked if I've not been eating properly in SIN. The fact is, one meal per day seemed to be sufficient for me these days and probably this is due to the lack of sleep. Sleep? Food? Sleep? Food? Ahh fuck it.. zZzz..

I've everything under control now, and I'm just gonna try to start a healthy lifestyle. Ta-dahh!! Here's a photo of me and the new blades I got in ECP! Thanks to Aaron and his expertise in blades, he accompanied me to get my new baby just 4 days ago. Haven't tested it yet but I can't wait to do it! WOOHOO! I'm getting two birthday gifts for myself this year. The second one, hehe, only a few know bout it.. (No Mom, I'm not getting a tattoo..)

happy me!!

OK I have no idea what I just typed(just spontaneity) but what the heck. It's 6AM in Auckland and now only I'm starting to get a lil' sleepy. FTS. Mmm.. Prolly I could have the breakfast buffet later before I go back to sleep. Yeah yeah label me the 'P' word.

* what if the second best brings out the best in you? *

Renee Olstead - A Love That Will Last

2010-04-20T02:22:00.001+08:00

when you lose it, lose it completely.

2010-04-09T17:11:00.003+08:00

"i was faithful when i fell for the first time. i thought i could give the same when Next came in. till, i met Desire. Fatigue called it quits. then i realized i will never be, unless i have the same fall as the first"

Cheers to being an Auntie! 030410

2010-04-08T14:46:00.008+08:00

I got a BBM message from my eldest sister when I was packing my stuff for ADL and it totally shocked me, "Er Jie's giving birth now!"

Holy crap, baby Zoey couldn't wait till the expected date of delivery which is supposed to be a week later. As much as I wanna call back home to check on how things are, but I knew that Mom and Dad would be making their way to the hospital in a rush. So I just had brief conversations with Jie and Robin to at least know what was going on. After I switched off my BB, I went into the aircraft hoping I would get great news when I arrive ADL.

Flight wasn't all that bad as the load wasn't heavy but I had quite a hard time keeping myself awake since I didn't rest well the night before. I just had to keep myself busy throughout the journey before I fall asleep on my feet, especially for overnight flights. Which I believe that I have such ability and am impressed with myself sometimes.

Arriving Hilton ADL@0945, had quite a bad welcome back gift in ADL when I realized that I left my make up pouch in the aircraft and quickly rushed to the lobby to ask for the Leading Stewardess, who will be taking over the aircraft, for help. She was so sweet that she promised she will try to find it and will drop it in my mailbox. Joyce, the stewardess on my flight, was ALSO very sweet to borrow me some of her make up stuff(thanks Love!) so I don't have to get a new one just for this trip! Thank God we're using the same shade.

Problems solved and I went out to meet Abang Drew. He brought me along with his Mom and sis(who were there for a visit) to Hahndorf, a small German village just an hour away from the city. An hour actually isn't a long time but I could hardly keep my eyes open so I slept all the way to Hahndorf.

I was brought to Hahndorf Inn Hotel, where, according to Drew, served the best of every part of pork - pork knuckles, pork ribs etc. Many a times I've missed the opportunity to visit this place cos it would either be that I gave in to my bed or Drew was busy with work. This time, it was a Saturday, and it had to be my lucky day cos Easter Day was on Friday and all shops would be closed on Sunday and Monday.

Drew ordered "A Taste of Germany Platter" that have absolutely everything - pork knuckle, pork sausage(mmm..), smoked porkchop(mmm..), etc and a big bowl of potato wedges on the side with Thai chili sauce and cream. SINFUL(not yet). I didn't know that the white sauce was actually cream(I thought it was mayo) until I asked Drew, "Bro, what's this ah?"

"What? You had two scoops of those and you didn't know what is it? It's cream!"

AWESOMEST

* burps *

Delizios. After lunch, we took a stroll along the street and I took a few photos of Autumn with Chia's G10(my camera was hospitalized for the moment). Despite the bright sun all day long, it was quite chilly and it was a gorgeous day to see a different part of Adelaide.

"OK what's next?"

Drew and I were walking up and down the street to look for a particular chocolate shop called No.5 while his Mom and sis were doing some shopping. Finally we found it.

I got a cup of hot chocolate milk and couldn't resist the chocolate cupcake cos it was so PRETTY(till it went into my tummy and out of you-know-where, HAHA I'm gross). Vic Ca, who used to be in MEL and now back in Klang, knows I'm a Chocoholic and she used to bring me to Max Brenner whenever I flew over to MEL. And just yesterday, I found out that there is a Max Brenner in Vivocity and Esplanade - who brought you OVER!

Back in SIN on 04APR, I called back home and first thing I greeted when Mom picked up the phone, "GuaMaa!!!"

"Beh yiii!" - which means 'youngest aunt'. I hated it when kids onboard called me Aunty but I can't wait to the day baby Zoey calls me 'beh yi'. Robin posted up photos of everyone in the hospital, welcoming the little angel into the family. The best part is, Mom and Dad are Grandma and Grandpa already! At most occasions me and my family attended, Dad would surely carry newborn babies or little kids and play with them. When everything was over and they had to go back to their families, Dad would have both these contented and heavy hearted look. I'd teared a little when I saw that face. Which is why I thought of this idea, to have a child before marriage - since I don't wanna get married yet. Hahaha I hinted Mom this and she claimed she will disown me.

I can't wait to go back home and SQUEEZE that little adorable bear! =)

proud Mommy and Daddy

newly promoted grandparents

4th aunt, new Mom, 3rd aunt

* the vow is simple - finding someone worthy of such promise is the hard part *

everyone will wake up someday

2010-03-28T01:56:00.002+08:00

even if the truth is discovered from an unexplained sudden end, the truth is still the truth. it scarred but it can't kill. cos i know who really have my back at all times. conclusion will be what an extremely close friend of mine would always say, "nothing really matters anymore".

just let it be our short-lived memory.

* counting down to the day i will have that same satisfaction again =) *

a single angel's feather 240310

2010-03-24T23:02:00.004+08:00

I don't know how many times have I carried a baby, and I can honestly say, I don't even know how to properly carry one. How can this be possible for a girl? We play dolls when we were young and that probably would at least give us a rough image of how to handle one. Dude, dolls I played when I was young are animals(think I have mentioned this before in my previous post). YES. Animals. Like a giraffe, lion, dog, duck etc but never a baby doll. The only human figured doll I had was Barbie(with pwetty dwess and SUPA nice heels).

Just today after arriving from Brisbane, I was helping this traveling solo mother to bring her bags down from the compartment and I brought down her baby carrier. Vanessa(the baby's name)was already fast asleep in her mother's arms and she didn't want to wake her up as Vanessa had been pretty wide awake throughout the 7-hours' journey. To think that she had to go through another 12-hours' trip to Zurich, it wouldn't be a good idea to wake the little alarm clock.

"Madam, would you like me to carry her for you while you strap on the baby carrier?"

Did I just bravely ask that?

God, the last thing I would want after a tiring flight is a sound of a screeching baby. As she gently passed little Vanessa to me, hundreds of positions ran into my mind on how to hold the baby properly without waking her up. "What if she doesn't like the way I carry her and she wakes up? Her mom would KILL ME!"

Vanessa moved a little, giving the impression that she realized that she knows she is in someone else's arms(yeah with the smell of coffee and red wine on my kebaya), and seconds later, she just settled down. Her look of serenity can even melt the coldest heart as she snuggled closer. It just gives you the feeling like, you wanna keep her away from all the noises, not because you are afraid that she will wake up and start screaming. But it's because of that natural instinct that you wanna protect her and keep her in that really peaceful state, keep her continue dreaming.

Now I know why most people would love to watch others, especially babies, sleep. The steady breathing, relaxed eye brows, calm heartbeat, are contagious. Especially after a hectic day, this just beat a day in spa.

After the mother left with her beautiful child, my ranking colleague asked me, "WAH got potential ah?! Are you gonna carry one yourself soon?"

You bet it's gonna be soon. Probably next month. When little Zoey is gonna meet her new family in weeks to come =)

PS: If she cries, I'm passing her back to you, Hong.

* a baby is God's opinion that the world should go on *

be the tree. stand tall.

2010-03-13T17:34:00.005+08:00

The first concert I attended was years ago and it was Good Charlotte's back in Bukit Jalil Stadium, KL. I remembered how crowded it was and I couldn't imagine how can I go through this if I were to do this again. Days ago, Chia's biggest idol, Adam Lambert was in town. For those who didn't catch last year's American Idol, Adam Lambert is the 1st runner up of American Idol. I didn't know anything about him until Chia told me about him(after most of the A.I episodes). Yes, he's a HUGE Glambert - I hope I said it right, 'Glambert' means Adam Lambert's fan, right?

My brother did mention to me before bout this showcase that will be held in Universal Studio and also there is an autograph session in Bugis Junction on the following day. According to him, it's gonna be CRAZY cos some people, from the forum he was following, said that they will be in Bugis Junction at 7AM when the session only starts at 4PM! Amazing things people do for their idols. Well, it was because the session is only an hour and how many copies can he do within that short period of time?

OK back to the showcase topic, Chia got tickets(VIP YO!) from a friend who won them from Starhub. I do listen a couple of his famous songs such as 'Time for Miracles', 'Whatda Ya Want From Me' and 'For Your Entertainment' so I accompanied him to the showcase. And since I missed all of his great performances in A.I, this is the chance for me to catch this shining star live.

As usual, like most concerts, delay bound to happen. Entrance should start at 7.30PM but we were queueing outside until 8.40PM. Thank God I was wearing my comfortable heels cos if my feet hurt, my temper rises. Nobody wants to see an angry Chi Chi =) Ahh.. And there is one more thing that night that totally cool me down, a sight of Channel V VJ Dom(but I'm still forever loyal to MTV VJ Utt). At first I was helping Chia to take photographs and when we walked pass this group of people, I saw this really tall, well built Chinese looking dude with unshaven chin. "Oh quite cute", and I just walked straight.

In a split second, it struck me, "Is that who I think it is?"

ahh.. haha.. ahaah.. *BREATHE*

Ah.. Hahaha.. Haha.. Breathe, Chi, BREATHE. Now I remember the feeling when I first saw Utt onboard. Initially I thought that he will be hosting the showcase but it was actually hosted by Class 95FM DJ, Glenn, if I'm not wrong.

chia looked damn cute lah here. like fuck. BWAHAHAH..

The opening showcase is a performance by the Old School and sorry to be suah ku, Chia and I were totally clueless who they are. However they did it pretty well I must say and later on, Glenn came on stage - for quite long. I was positively sure that the crowd was quite agitated like, "Where is Adam?", "We Want Adam", etc. Man, I don't know if putting Glenn on stage for so long is part of the plan but even I, who was seated quite comfortably with Chia, felt quite annoyed with him trying to prolong the anticipation.

The moment Adam Lambert walked out, in a grey pants and black studded leather(I guess) jacket, the crowd just went havoc. He looked really tall in person and damn I love his pants. The few 'exercises' he had to do before he start performing, first one is the quiz for the 5 selected audiences and followed by trying to speak Singlish. However, I don't think 'Pai Sey' or 'Kam Sia' are actually Singlish - aren't they supposed to be Hokkien? Oh well, that's my least concern though..

Adam didn't perform with a huge band, just an acoustic guitarist and I think it's a Bongo drummer, who reminds me very much of Bob Marley(wazzaaa..). He said, the showcase for the night is more about the songs(and his voice) but if he's performing again to SIN, he's gonna make it huge, with the bands, the costumes, feathers etc. A hint? One of the songs he sang that night was 'Broken Open'(which he also written), totally captivated me. Few others like, 'Fever', 'For Your Entertainment', 'Mad World', 'Down the Rabbit Hole', were performed but not 'Time for Miracles'! - I was waiting for that!

The showcase was short, only bout an hour but just within that hour, I saw the gift that he has. And I swear to you, I think Chia is gonna kill me for saying this, but I swear, I thought I saw Chia wept. FARKING EMO SIA..

We then went over to Modiva at St James for a drink before we left(I wasn't feeling very well). Along the journey, Chia gave me some informations he knew bout Adam Lambert and apparently he had quite a hard time after performing American Music Award of 2009, cos he kissed the keyboardist, pulled one of the dancer's head to his pelvis and grabbed another's crotch. ABC got 1,500 complaints due to indecency and his interview with Good Morning America was cancelled. He said that he wanted to take the risk as female performers have been doing this for years and when the male did it, everybody just freaked out. Well, lets be honest and think about this, does his sexual orientation really made an impact on his votes on American Idol? Sad to say, how shallow some people can be.

Albert, a guy sat next to us, who made this for Adam. so NICE!

However, I may not be one of the biggest or craziest fans of his, but after that night, I will sure remember him as one of the stars that shine on its own.

you are being loved, adam. even the hand says so.

* don't bother controlling a barking dog *

"i don't think i know her anymore"

2010-02-10T10:02:00.004+08:00

Apart from 'use your common sense', the other sentence which push my button is 'I don't think I know her anymore'. Whatever, Einstein.

I am guilty for using that sentence before when talking about long time close friends who had 360 degrees personality change. I didn't know it can be quite an annoyance till recently when I found out a used-to-be, or should I say, thought-to-be, good friend of mine back in training days.

As stupid as I may sound, I actually believed that he is smart to not believe the false accusations made by that drag queen(yeah you, don't think I don't have a single clue that you're still reading my blog and getting all drama Mama). Bitch.

However, like they've always said, the higher your expectations are, the bigger your disappointment will be.

Oh well, enough of this angry post. One of my new year's resolutions is, "don't give a fuck bout ass-clowns, not everyone has the balls to juggle". I have better things in life to do. Smell ya later.

* why do i feel pity instead of anger for you - it beats the hell out of me *

i want my CNY at home!

2010-02-03T13:47:00.003+08:00

Boo.. Luck is not on my side this year cos I won't be able to celebrate my CNY in Klang! Will be spending the eve, first and second day of CNY in Amsterdam. At least it's Amsterdam. It's time to visit Bob Marley and Smurf again. Tee hee..

It's the 2nd cycle of my Chinese zodiac(every cycle is 12 years, so it's my 2nd year, you do the math) and I'll be honest, it does get a lil creepy cos my sisters used to tell me that once you pass 21 years old, time will pass so quickly that in a glimpse, you are 30. Single. Grouchy. Haggard. NOoOo! So then it is my turn to advise the youngest dude in my family, "Chubby, enjoy your youth!" - Actually on second thought, it is different for guys and it doesn't seemed to affect them badly once they hit 30. Damn men.

* i had a secret affair with Jeopardy while seeing Security *

Pixie Lott - Cry Me Out(Lyrics)

2010-01-28T20:23:00.001+08:00

bangkok touches me

2010-01-24T19:51:00.006+08:00

I never usually like going to cities when it comes to picking a holiday destination. Crazy traffic. Shopping malls(shut up, I'm poor). Impatient people. Being in the crowd(apart from clubbing). Pollution. But BANGKOK is an exception. I loved it so much that I went there twice within 2 months! First trip was with my fanfuckintastics and the second one was with 2 of my house bunnies.

The first trip was quite a last minute plan cos most of us have a long day off except for Bert who had to change his flight away. Last minute plan means hunting for hotels, Google for main attractions in Bangkok and getting expensive flight tickets! It was all in the end worth every penny especially when the company is so FANFUCKINTASTIC. Chia managed to find a boutique hotel in Silom, called Inn Saladaeng and I think the concept of this hotel is simplicity and coziness. I booked the same one for my 2nd trip with the girls and one of the staff actually recognized me!

bert, me, chia at T1

A reason why I love Bangkok. Scroll down.

cute Thai boy singing in Route 66! OH SAWADEEKHA GORGEOUS!

All I can say about our trip is, we didn't go to any tourist attractions as planned cos we partied most of the nights till very late and couldn't wake up early the next day. This is more of like a PARTY TRIP! One of the clubs in RCA that we went to is Route 66 and it was HUGE. It has different sections for different types of music played and we went to the R&B section. However the club closes at sharp 2am and we were like, "ALREADY?! But we're just getting started!"

So we ended the night early and had supper at the food stalls by the main road. This is a simple chicken noodle soup, the place is dirty and our Pepsi tasted diluted but it ROCKS! I've always enjoy to eat places like this(but please do not bring me to places like this for a date) cos it just reminds me so much of the food stalls in my hometown, which is right under the tree. Even Ili agrees that it was good!

my darling brothas and sista on a tuk tuk!

Fast forward to a month later, my 2nd trip which is Myera's 21st birthday trip! The room we booked is bigger than the one Chia and I shared cos this was the junior family room, just nice for the 3 of us! And our bags.

Since I didn't get to go to the main attractions during my 1st trip, I managed to visit them for this trip with the girls and they were amazing! There is one more place we wanted to go but it was too far, Ayutthaya Kingdom. Approximately 2 to 3 hours' drive and what I wanted to see is Buddha's head overgrown by a tree. We went to the Grand Palace first then followed by Wat Pho, which Myera and I were blessed by a monk there. Myera got most of the blessing water cos when I turned to look at her, she looked as though she just finished shower!

myera, athena and i outside the buildings in Grand Palace

We celebrated Myera's birthday in a sky view restaurant, Breeze, in the State Tower. We initially wanted to go to Sirocco(in the same building but at the highest level) but it was fully booked for the night. It was gorgeous and Bangkok that is popular for being one of the busiest cities seemed so calm from up there.

PAD THAI!

On one of the nights there, I met up with Vanessa, Jacqueline and Marcus who went there too but 2 days earlier than us. Yesh I went back to Route 66 and saw the cute Thai boy again. *sigh* He looks like the Thai version of Wang Leehom! OH MY TIEN!

i'm salivating now..

Our last itinerary for the trip was the Muay Thai and it was pretty empty. The muay thai boxers were all young boys(well hello boys~) but they are pretty violent! OK when it comes to muay thai, what I can only think of is the first muay thai movie I watched, Beautiful Boxer. The movie is a true story based on the life of a transgender Muay Thai boxer, Nong Thoom. Still one of my favorite movies.

Ahh.. Yes, I lost my Blackberry in Bangkok and apparently that that bastard is using it and changed my name from ChiChi to Nic. I only got to know this when my friend told me that I replied him in Thai on BBM. I got really pissed off and called Singtel to help me to deregister that Blackberry so he won't be able to use the Blackberry services. Photo below was Ili's Blackberry when we went to Bert's place and they were like, "Teh Yen Chi is still in Silom!! Bwhahahahahah!!!"

* you won't know how you killed me *

fat chubby superboy 301209

2009-12-30T21:37:00.004+08:00

this is something so cute that happened to me so I just HAVE to post about it before it slowly becomes a blur. Oh before that, I've just bought my favorite Canon camera like Ili's(CHAMPAGNE GOLD) and have got the Starhub mobile broadband. YESH means no more frustration over being internetless and a gorgeous camera to accompany me to London! Now my final gadget that I'm gonna get, is still pending. Allright now back to the cute incident that happened to me.

After I bought my camera from BEST, I went into one of the video stores to check out for Stephen Chow's movies. As I was standing in front of the collection of DVDs, suddenly I heard, "Alvin on the way!"

I turned and looked on my left, a small fat(I mean really FAT) boy with handkerchief tucked on the back of his collar like Superman, was holding 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' DVD high above his head like an altar to him and marched towards me, "Alvin on the way! Move!"

Me, obviously known by those who are close to me that I don't like kids, especially rude ones, didn't move from where I stood. I just looked away and continued scanning through the DVDs. He repeated himself and marched closer to me, thinking I'd back off for him but I didn't move an inch(Haha plus I'd love to see what will this chubby do to me). Then he gave in and walked behind me. What he did to me almost shocked me. He stood next to me, with his back faced my side and used his butt to hit my lower leg! ON PURPOSE! I could feel his bare buttock without an underwear underneath his cotton thin pants. Not once but twice!

I thought my next reaction is to grip his collar and scream, "you maggot!" but I just felt the innocent act of this little rascal and I couldn't help but giggled. Then I told him, "I like Alvin too."

Chubby stared back at me and said, "Me too."

Darn, I really think my patience level for kids gone up a little since I'll be expecting a little baby niece early next year. Whee!!! And already bought her a polka dot pajamas from GAP, SFO! Here comes 5th auntiee!! (I suddenly feel so paranoid)

* we all bleed to prove we are alive *

Bonnie Raitt - I Cant Make You Love Me

2009-12-27T01:44:00.001+08:00

Heard George Michael's version but first heard it from Chia's laptop. Damn one of the best songs I've heard since Gloria Estafen's.

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holdin me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.

freaky girly of me

2009-12-24T22:57:00.002+08:00

couldn't help giggling like a girl

seriously

idiot =)

* it's meaningless but i expect nothing *

going back to where it nearly killed me - NOT THIS TIME

2009-12-24T11:19:00.005+08:00

I'm back yo!

Got myself a Macbook for X'mas and this baby is WHITE(pretty Christmasy ei?) Shucks but my internet back in SIN will still not be working till I go over to Singtel to change the configuration(what?!). BOO! Oh well, I have 4(including the day I touch down from HKG) days to settle everything. YESH I'm in San Fran and it is pretty cold here especially during the night. Though I did not splurge as I know I would usually do(look at me during my BKK trip!), but I've learnt something new about me - I'm SUCH a SHOE person! My heart beats harder when I see them, my palms sweat when I check out the sexiness of the stilettos, my feet trembles when I put them on, my wallet cries for help at the cashier. YAMATEI!!

Clothing wise, mmm.. OK lah, not really my priority. I usually just scan through the whole shop and will only take the one that catches my attention(yesh I shop pretty fast and furious so in love with me yet?) As the matter of fact, a friend even brought this up to me before when I went shopping with her, "Babe, if you don't look through them properly, how can you think you can really find the One?" - I know where is she going with this but well, I think I love bad asses like Jimmy Choo and Manolo Blahnik(but haven't own a pair yet - damn it! She's so right!) *grins*

Darn I will be heading back to HongKong tomorrow(which means more SHOE INDULGENCE) and I just don't wanna leave cos it felt like being in one of those Christmas movies where people are rushing to buy bo sim last minute X'mas gifts(did I mention that I just bought the gifts for my girls and boys in SIN?). It would be better if it snows but it didn't.

*yawns* Didn't have enough sleep yesterday so better knock out soon. HAHAHA but I'm so happy I got my Mac.

PS: Mario's "How Do I Breathe" is such a corny song but hell, it can be true sometimes.

* i thought i forgot how it feels till i hear your heartbeat *

i cant breathe..

2009-11-13T18:55:00.002+08:00

OMG

my last roster for the year..

has to be..

the ULTIMATE AWESOMEST OF ALL!!!

I know it's pretty common for some of you lucky jokers but

SISTER HERE IS DOING HKG SFO, woohoooo!!!!

though I will be operating on X'mas, but oh well,

I'm sure I will find something special in SFO(omg SFO!!)

tee hee..

* blessing comes in different shapes and sizes, also when you least expect it *

secrets to the bed of roses

2009-11-12T22:58:00.009+08:00

It really has been a long time since I last updated my blog. As in, really REALLY update it, (excluding my posts on new favorite songs and some random drunk posts), I honestly have no idea what have I been doing! Maybe I was too caught up with work and meeting my friends and ahh I remember, my lappie died on me for more than a week! That happened when my lappie turned exactly one year old. Gosh luckily for Ili's help and her brother's, it came back alive but this time, it is like a newborn baby. It has absolutely nothing on the desktop other than the Recycle Bin. Really appreciate what Ili and her bro did(Shafiq, I still owe you a Lamborghini - drink) but damn I really need to get a new lappie.

A very brief post about what I've been through for the past.. probably a month? And I will start off with my first getaway to Hanoi. This has to be my best and most independent trip and all thanks to Chia for his tips, I went to Hanoi for 4 days right after I came back from Copenhagen. During check in itself, I've got 4 persons asking me if I'm Vietnamese or is my Mom Vietnamese cos my name has 'Yen'. Hahaha that means I have another 4 Vietnamese back home and few more cousin sisters of mine.

On the very first day, I went to the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum and well it would be great IF everything is in English but however, I got more detailed information about this great man from my Halong Bay tour guide. He, according to the tour guide(Hang), was a very humble man and only wore common clothings and cheap sandals. Though his assistants or advisors did told him that he should be in a proper attire like suits, he refused as he claimed that "the people in Vietnam are poor and are struggling hard to live their lives, why should I indulge myself in such luxury?"

Great man has left a huge change in Vietnam and in his honor, the largest former capital of Vietnam, used to be known as Saigon, is now currently known as Ho Chi Minh City. Maybe someday I will visit Saigon but I must first explore all these exotic places. So the following morning, I followed the tour to Halong Bay for 2 days 1 night(on the boat) and the most authentic image of Vietnam I have in my mind would be the stalls by the roadsides with small stools and tables where customers have their noodles. How original!

early morning, outside the hotel where i stay

I must say, I(along with 15 other travelers) was pretty lucky that this was the last trip to the sea as the 10th typhoon will be approaching in the afternoon on the day we go back to shore. Thank GOD cos Halong Bay is my highlight for this trip! So this is the boat we stayed for a night and I accommodate a room myself. Congratulations! I got a honeymoon bedroom with no one to share! It was a queen sized bed(AGH!!), with this red paper cut of two phoenixes and this Chinese wording used for weddings on the wall. AH hahaha, thanks for the reminder guys. MOVE ALONG.

Halong Bay was really breathtaking and it is so relaxing especially during the night and the sea was so dark. It just removed all these horrible feeling of rush especially when I'm working in a service industry and everything has to be done in a snap of a finger! Not to mention, it certainly makes time flies really quickly. Yeah, more reasons for me to avoid visiting cities for relaxing holidays. Scratching HongKong.
I had a great time on the boat and also made a couple of new friends. On the way back to shore, the journey was pretty bumpy as we left just a few hours before the typhoon came and we even had to switch boat cos our original boat wasn't strong enough to fight the waves. It was quite scary and the first thought that came in my mind was, 'Should I put my BB in the sealed bag?'

Luckily everything went fine and we were all sent back to our respective hotels. OH I must recommend this to everyone, please try the Cha Ca! It's a grilled fish with noodles and it was the AWESOMEST food I've ever had! Especially this purplish paste which is so bloody addictive. I can still taste it right now as I'm typing and looking at the photo *slurps*

I'm really glad that I can read maps cos the streets in Old Quarter can be quite confusing. I once saw 2 foreigners going round and round the same place to look for their hotel!

NEXT, is my trip to Milan. No I didn't go there on my own. Initially I wanted to visit Venice with Geraldine, Sam and Khai but misfortune happened and I don't wanna repeat what shit happened. I'm still quite pissed off! A special note to travelers, please be very careful with your ATM card! Tie a string to it if possible! Hmph but I'm sure I will have the chance again to fly to Milan.

My idols, the BECKS.
I went to Duomo di Milano on my following layover with the same 3 persons and the cathedral was beyond magnificent. It looked even more amazing when the sunlight just shone on the building and it looked almost white.

Anyway I was advised by my seniors about European countries, they are not safe as conman will be around especially at the tourist attractions. How can I forget, I was pickpocket when I was in Paris for the first time and lost my handphone on my birthday last year! Not to mention it was my favorite handphone and there were so many memories in there!

I love the architecture of the Galleria Vittoria Emanuele II and that is where all the branded goods are. Eg; LV, Gucci, Chanel, Prada, etc. Since my card has been 'eaten' by the hungry Italian ATM machine, I didn't do any shopping(at ALL) but I was so happy that Geraldine bought an LV Galliera, a bag I've always wanted to get myself. She was contemplating whether to go with a Neverfull or Galliera but I kept telling her, "Get this lahhh.. It's SUPER NICE! Something different at least."

ZARA boutique here, its a MUST to visit. Even if you're not planning to get anything, just go there and look at it. It's humongous and all 3 levels are the ladies section(sorry, gents is another store away). How can I not go mad there? Especially when I have the biggest obsession for ZARA heels! God, if I were sentence to be stoned to dead, lemme have my last pleasure, can I please be 'heeled' to dead? Only ZARA, Aldo, Jimmy Choo and Manolo Blahnik.

Last but not least, never leave Italy without having their worldwide known pasta and Italian hot chocolate(more like a watery paste rather than a drink - HEAVENLY). I ordered the penne pasta with salmon carbonara and please don't be fooled by the amount of Parmesan cheese on them. I put them myself. The more, the merrier I feel. All right, at least these 2 are enough to compensate my lost ATM card(and also controlled me from drying up my bank account).

splash some of this hot chocolate on a hot guy and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese - my perfect X'mas gift

Finally that's the end of my 2 trips at one post and here I'd like to end with a photo of my fanfuckintastic people. It was on a Friday night and we weren't partying(because of you BERT!!) despite my temptation to run to Vanessa who was dancing her night away. We visited Bert in Woodlands and it was Chia's and my first time to Woodlands. I know. Such virgins. There are so many other places in Singapore we haven't really visit yet but we will soon. Allright next, Jurong!

The photo above was taken in Longbar, Raffles Hotel and I love the place how you can eat the peanuts(complimentary) and just throw the shells on the floor! Not a good place to fall down but it's a really cool hang out place. They have live band but it was close to closing time so we didn't managed to catch the band in action. Chia, Ili and Bert had the famous Singapore Sling and it really tastes amazing! Comparing to the ones we had onboard(sorry), the first sip made us understood why it is a famous drink. Well it is the first place where Singapore Sling was invented.

We ended the night, sober but content, exhausted but pleasurable, simple but memorable =)

Fanfuckintastic Four

* rejection only kills people with low self-esteem *

掌紋 -曹格 (Gary Cao - Zhang Wen)

2009-11-02T23:47:00.001+08:00

OK I still don't get what the whole lyrics mean but yeah you guess it right where I first heard this song. Though I may not have known what it means, it just sounds so.. GOD, he's fucking good. BRAVO!

在我的手心
zai wo de shou xin
你落下的眼淚很冰
ni luo xia de yan lei hen bing
晶瑩的淚滴
jing ying de lei di
輕輕滑過我的一生
qing qing hua guo wo de yi sheng

* 春去春又回
chun qu chun you hui
我走過的孤獨很黑
wo zou guo de gu du hen hei
難忘那一刻
nan wang na yi ke
你走進生命的瞬間
ni zou jin sheng ming de shun jian

我不信命
wo bu xin ming
我信愛情
wo xin ai qing
是沒有理由
shi mei you li you
悲歡的註定
bei huan de zhu ding
在我的掌紋中
zai wo de zhang wen zhong
你在那裡
ni zai na li
如此的清晰
ru ci de qing xi
沒有輸贏
mei you shu ying
你是我的命
ni shi wo de ming

Repeat *

我不信命
wo bu xin ming
我信命中
wo xin ming zhong
你給的每個
ni gei de mei ge
考驗和奇蹟
kao yan he qi ji
在我的掌紋
zai wo de zhang wen
中安身立命
zhong an shen li ming
是否願意
shi fou yuan yi
張開手
zhang kai shou
你回應
ni hui ying

我不信命
wo bu xin ming
我不信命
wo bu xin ming
我只信你
wo zhi xin ni

CONGRAT-FUCK-TULATIONS!

2009-10-09T00:41:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so happy for my dearest friends back in my hometown who are married. Happy for happily attached friends who post up cute cuddly photos of them with their partners. Even happier for my dearest friend, who I think would like to remain anonymous, for her most recent and happiest relationship with one of my very good friends. But somehow down the road, as time goes by, I just told my dearest friend the other day on the phone while shopping in FairPrice;

"Imagine all my friends are gonna have this 'Wives' Meeting' and everyone is there except for me. Then they're gonna shake their heads and think, 'Sigh when is YenChi planning to settle down?' after looking at my Facebook profile."

I love attending weddings. I only enjoy movies with happy endings. I feel happy for happy couples. I cry in weddings. I believe in happily-ever-after. Unfortunately, during the tossing of the bride's bouquet, I will be the first to run away from the circle and stand at one corner with the guys, thinking, I hope my girlfriend doesn't catch it(usually if a guy's girlfriend catches the bouquet, the other guys will just pat his shoulder and laugh). I've got news for you, my gamophobic just kept growing.

PS: though alcohol is getting into me, but i typed and spoke truthfully, from the bottom of my heart.

* i dont find that reality is ugly. it's all up in your head *

its all coming back home 290909

2009-09-29T19:11:00.007+08:00

"speed limits are for small balls like you guys" - 5 years ago

"do you believe that the more you are exposed to the world, the uglier reality is gonna get?", he asked. he smirked then rubbed my head, "it's all up in here. depends if you want to find the light in every darkness." - 4 years ago

when Dad was asked, who does he love the most among the 5 daughters(the scariest question and if possible, avoidable question!), "all 5 fingers are different in length, you have the longest and the shortest. but when one of them is bent, the pain will still go to the heart" - my Dad, now i know where did i get all these 'sudden-poetic' habit from, around mid 2005

sitting along the street, outside of Zouk, she said, "they say, it's better that someone loves you more. its true. it doesn't hurt. but you're just as good as dead." - on the night we were pissed drunk, early December 2005

"the only loudspeakers we need here are the property of the cinema. and we dont need a narrator" - some guy in the cinema screwin' the other guy while watchin' "Failure to Launch", early 2006

sat on my chair, my decision shocked my hairdresser. "are you sure you wanna cut to shoulder length? but it's.. SO LONG!" a Malay lady next to me, laughed, "Merdeka hairstyle, good for you darling. but dont highlight the flag on your head ah" - 310807, the last sight of my long hair strolling down to my waist

"are you sure you wanna do this? just a word of advice from someone who is in this line; be prepared for changes. once you win some, you'll lose some" - few weeks prior to leaving for SIN, late Feb 2008

moving at fast speed and sudden halt, staring straight at me, centimeters away from my face, and smiled, "you are not afraid of me". "should i be?" - onboard, my first long-hauled flight in July 2008

"i am different." he laughed and shook his head, "of course you are different. even twins are different! but i can guarantee you, i'm not cursing but i can GUARANTEE you, guilt will soon take over your heart" - Nov 2008, before goin' back KL for my sis's wedding

after assisting my Indian pax to his seat, i introduced myself as Yen(Yen Chi would be quite difficult to remember)and he gave me his most winning smile, "Then kiu, Yenny" - on my way back from DEL/BOM, Dec 2008

Mom sat next to me in the dinner table, while I was sewing, "i don't know what's the rule bout ex boyfriends. like only on what circumstances can you be friends with your ex. i really don't know, look at me! my first relationship with Dad and BOOM, there, we have all 6 of you siao miao(crazy cats)!" - Mom, after my current break up

"secretly, everybody cares if they're judged. it's just others are better at hiding their emotions" - 230809

"last night and tonight were just hiccups. i'm just going through a very strange time in my life. i dont know what am i doing. having said that, half drunk, i must tell you, you suck as a friend though. enjoy the tulips" - on Facebook, 220409, i suck but still goin' strong with my whore-rible brother Pinky

"why do you like him?" sitting comfortably in One Fullerton, facing the water & Singapore Flyer. *silence for a moment* "i don't know. but when i have no answer to that question, that is how i know that i've fallen" - 270909

"men are bastards. i know for the fact i am a man; once challenge achieved, the thrill dies" - today, said by a very older married man

*nudge* "bitch, dont you ignore me cos you wanna update your blog! i'm ignoring this Swedish guy with hard nipples for you, dont you let me down!" - minutes ago, hahaha!

so many memorable quotes been said, not by any poets or philosopher, just the people in my life and random people I meet. guess i'm just gonna sleep it off tonight and rise and shine early morning. wheee!! can't wait for Hanoi!! G, i will search for the light.

* i held back from what i almost far for - a bottomless gap *

who is the real victim? 250909

2009-09-25T19:56:00.003+08:00

Great, I really think that the last time I had a really good sleep was in Zurich, because at GMT+8, I'm always wide awake at night but feeling drenched during the day. Now I'm having a good cup of teh tarik(yam seng!) and packing for my first 330 flight to Nagoya on 27th. Not being kiasu but might have clubbing plans tomorrow night and I know VERY WELL that on the 27th, I won't be awake till my alarm rings at 2015. Simultaneously, I'm doin' my research on my short getaway next month(wheee!!) One of the most random things I've ever done but like my current Tweet - sometimes doing random things in life can make you forget the past that went wrong.

Recently I've just discovered that a pain in the ass friend of mine had been.. a BIGGER pain in the ass. Long story short, nationality issue insults. In the beginning when I was told bout this, I was furious! Wait, furious doesn't fit the description. Beyond FURIOUS! Curses in every sentence that includes her name, I complained to my house bunnies and their first reaction was, "WTF?"

Of course, I don't blame people for being skeptical because I can be pretty skeptical myself(Boo you bitch!). Ask my closest friends and you'll find out that I'm skeptical towards the most uncommon thing. Just the other day, I was complaining to Edgar about it and being a good friend he is, he bitched back about her. After throwing my tantrum on MSN and luckily all my keypads remained intact, he cracked me up by saying this, "My dear, this is really unhealthy for you. Your daily alcohol consumption is fucking with your liver and now some fat ass is fucking with you because you're Malaysian? Let brother Ed feed her with wet tampons!"

However it doesn't solve anything. Other than decreasing the anger. After that I thought, who is the real victim? The gossip's victim or the one gossips? I won't say that I don't gossip and I love my gossip moments when I'm in the house with the girls. It's just we have this rule, "Whatever says here, stays here."

Yes, gossips can also ruin lives and I think that people are more interested to hear the dirty stories rather than the Good-Will stories. I don't believe that everyone is a saint or a Satan - if you want a perfectionist, get a Barbie. It's true that 'there is no smoke without fire' but hey, how is it anybody's business? So it is difficult sometimes to look for a person to share your secrets with. Luckily for me, I have a small circle of trustable people. The very same people I trusted since I lost faith in it.

Out of the blue, Edgar popped a question, "if you've lost faith in trust, what do you do to believe in trust again?"

My reply? "I still don't fully believe in it, but sometimes all I need is a hint of pleasure in believing what I used to believe. That's why I have the small circle."

"You are so full of shit, you should be a philosopher - but they're smart." - fuck you Edgar

* the future you have tomorrow won't be the future you had yesterday - fight club(1999) *

Khalil Fong - 为你写的歌/Wei Ni Xie De Ge(A Song Written for You)

2009-09-18T20:55:00.001+08:00

耳朵借我这几分钟这首歌会替我说
er duo jie wo, zhe ji fen zhong, zhe shou ge hui ti wo shuo
Lend me your ear, this few minutes, this song will represent my voice

你在心中怎麽形容像荒漠开出花朵
ni zai xin zhong, zen me xing rong, xiang huang mo kai chu hua duo
The you in my heart, how do I describe, it's like the barren land that blooms flower

原谅我的指头在颤抖是我把黑键当你的手
yuan liang wo de zhi tou zai zhan dou, shi wo ba hei jian dang ni de shou
Forgive my quivering fingers, I thought that the black doorknob is your hand

如果你心里也能协奏请你对我轻轻点头
ru guo ni xin li ye neng xie zou, qing ni dui wo qing qing dian tou
If your heart can play the music too, please nod your head softly.

这是为你写的歌充满忐忑
zhe shi wei ni xie de ge, chong man tan te
This is a song I've written for you, full of anxiousness

像生命所有转折要你认可
xiang sheng ming shuo you zhuan zhe, yao ni ren ke
Like life's all turning point, want you to approve

只等你来唱和我会在你左右
zhi deng ni lai chang he, wo hui zai ni zuo you
Just waiting for you to sing together, I will be at your side

Cause baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

每次斟酌每个段落是你应得的温柔
mei ci zhen zhuo, mei ge duan luo, shi ni ying de de wen rou
Everytime I pour you a drink, every paragraph, is the gentleness that you deserve

每小节的心跳触动想传到你的胸口
mei xiao jie de xin tiao chu dong, xiang zhuan dao ni de xiong kou
Everytime my heart beats because of small little things, I feel like hugging you

也没有一时澎湃悸动却能在深秋细水长流
ye mei you yi shi peng pai ji dong, que neng zai shen qiu xi shui zhang liu
I don't have the raging hormones, but I can go little by little

这世界什麽都会陈旧除了你回头的微笑
zhe shi jie shen me dou hui chen jiu, chu le ni hui tou de wei xiao
Everything will become out-of-date in this world, except your smile when I look back

这是为你写的歌充满忐忑
zhe shi wei ni xie de ge, chong man tan te
This is a song I've written for you, full of anxiousness

像生命所有转折要你认可
xiang sheng ming shuo you zhuan zhe, yao ni ren ke
Like life's all turning point, want you to approve

只等你来唱和我会在你左右
zhi deng ni lai chang he, wo hui zai ni zuo you
Just waiting for you to sing together, I will be at your side

Cause baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

每一天我愿像银河陪伴着夜空
mei yi tian wo yuan xiang yin he, pei ban zhe ye kong
Everyday my wish is like the Milky Way, accompaning the night sky

是否你也愿身边永远有我
shi fou ni ye yuan shen bian yong yuan, you wo
Is your wish to have me forever beside you too

失去记忆一样哼着让和弦在我们心口流动
she qu ji yi yi yang heng zhe, rang he xian zai wo men xin kou liu dong
Continue to hum even after losing your memories, let that chord run through our hearts

直到两双手都弹皱了我还依旧为你写歌
zhi dao liang shuang shou dou tan zhou le, wo hai yi jiu wei ni xie ge
Play until both my hands are wrinkled, I will still write songs for you

这是为你写的歌充满忐忑
zhe shi wei ni xie de ge, chong man tan te
This is a song I've written for you, full of anxiousness

像生命所有转折要你认可
xiang sheng ming shuo you zhuan zhe, yao ni ren ke
Like life's all turning point, want you to approve

只等你来唱和我会在你左右
zhi deng ni lai chang he, wo hui zai ni zuo you
Just waiting for you to sing together, I will be at your side

Cause baby I wrote this I wrote this

Oh it’s a singalong song, that’s not too long
It’s when I think about you then I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cause baby I wrote this, I wrote this for you
Cause baby I wrote this, I wrote this for you

flashback for the moment 120909

2009-09-12T05:41:00.004+08:00

i prayed really hard before and during doin' the most paranoid, unexpected, no-other-choice stunt

HEART pumpin'

EYES widened

HANDS grippin' tight

FEET feelin' for a perfect spot

MIND coordinatin'

never will i do such crazy thing, EVER!

hands are shiverin' like crazy right now as i typed

au natural 24 - 280809

2009-09-07T04:40:00.001+08:00

"OMG I GOT 5-DAYS' MALE!!"

I still remember clearly when and where I was. Hot sunny morning on the 2nd day I arrived Houston, I was checking my roster before heading down to the lobby to meet the rest for our shopping spree in the factory outlets. The previous day, I was complaining to Athena(who was with me in Houston) that I'm still not rostered for Male yet and wondered if I will be like the small percentage of crew who HARDLY get Male?! NoOoOo!!!.. When I saw 'MLE' in my roster, I screamed! Plus the extra clear days I have in Male, SCREEEECCHHH!!!

Everyone(I really mean, EVERYONE) in my set of crew was in such good mood. Despite the full load and the amount of honeymoon cake orders. We work hard, we play hard. WOOTS! I regretted for not bringing a cargo bag cos everyone else brought except for me, Carmen and Lawrence!

Arrived the airport at night and we had to take a boat(speed boat, thank God) to our resort and the journey was about 20 minutes. On the boat, everyone was already planning on what to do. I obviously was keen for everything! Fully utilized every single day!

A photo of our designated rooms and it was great we were put together this way as we will be able to get to each other much easier. Though I checked the weather forecast earlier, it was predicted that it will be raining everyday, since it's monsoon. Luckily the sky was clear the next day and for the first time, I'm welcoming the sun to BURN ME!(with my 130+ SPF sunblock, nyahaha!)

me roomHalf of us walked to the beach first while the other half was still getting ready. The first sight of the sea is like looking at my first love all over again. Everything I saw that moment was just.. blue. 3 different shades of blue; light blue, turquoise then at the drop, navy blue. Small white clouds were attached to the two-toned sky. I was lost in my own blue fantasy before Angel called out for me. I LOVE BLUE(clothing) but I LOVE RED(stuff).angel and i nicole, our Korean stewardess and jone, chief onboard, snorkelling instructor onground

Snorkelling gear set was available for rental at the price of US8(per day) and initially I thought I don't need the flippers cos it was really difficult to walk with especially in water. Even the last time when I went snorkelling in Redang, I didn't use the flippers. However I was advised to take them cos the corals might cut my feet if I'm not too careful. Getting cut(especially a deep cut) in the sea water isn't a funny thing. First, the salt water literally EATS into your cut. Second, here's some hint; famous theme with two music notes, E and F, Steven Spielberg's in 1975.

Before this flight, one of my colleague told me about the sudden drop(where the navy blue layer is) and he said, "You will notice the sudden change of temperature before you reach the drop. But when you suddenly reach the drop, it's a real massive one. You can't see what's below and in front of you but just blue surroundings with sunrays piercing throught the water."

His description has been hovering in my mind till this trip and I've ability in using my imagination skill to the maximum, as realistic as possible! To the extend when I heard another friend's skydiving experience, I could imagine the force of gravity sucking me to the ground and I kid you not, my hands were actually sweaty and trembling and my heart was beating hard. OK mind you, I don't imagine whatever it is in your dirty lil' mind.

All right, enough of my greatest ability(other than eating more and faster than a guy - BERT!), the corals were amazingly still in good shape and it really felt like being in 'Finding Nemo'. I couldn't name any fishes at all cos I have zero knowledge about fishes but most of them are familiar to me. I know that they say you musn't step or touch the corals but I, as guilty as charged, used my 3 fingers, gently pushed myself towards the drop cos the wave kept pushing me back to the shore! Wave was quite strong so I paddled a little harder to move forward. The coral was quite high as well and I accidentally cut my left thigh on the coral.

Once I've successfully reached the drop, everything just fits the description. This is what I'm here for. The peace that the land of human race can never provide anymore.

When I swam back to shore, Sandy pointed at my thigh, "Aiyo what happened to your leg?!"

The moment he said that, the pain just registered into my brain like, have you like forgotten somethin, Xena? Few minutes after that, it started to bulge with transparent liquid extracting. Sandy, our supervisor, used to be a lifeguard(as he'd mentioned in the briefing room), was also our First-Aid Kit. He gave me some of the Aloe Vera gel to apply. It's my left leg again. All the scars on my left leg are welcoming their new member, "OLA SENOR~! Welcome to ChiChi's Sueh Siau Left Leg!"

this is the big wave that washes your footprints in my life

carmen, also a Malaysian!, and i

The guys found a great and quiet spot for us to chill and there is even a hammock! Moments later, Jessica, Jasmine and Eugene joined us. Everyone was just lazing around with a couple of drinks and Ezwan brought his little speaker, X-Mini. It's really cute and the sound was pretty amazing for such little guy. Jessica also has one and now I have one too! I bought X-MiniMax for S$68 in Challenger if you wanna know.

from front: eugene, sandy, charles
me, jone(the yeng one), angel

from L to R: nicole, carmen, jessica, jasmine(behind)

The book that I was holding on is Angel's book, a motivational book by Richard Templar, 'Rules of Life'. And the chapter when I first opened the book is 'Accept What is Done is Done'. As I continued reading the content, I couldn't hide my smile. These 6 simple words have been said by my tireless friends and maybe back then I was too stubborn to want to understand it. Well, maybe I wasn't ready to accept what is done is done =)

When Angel and I chatted, we realised that we do have quite a number of thing in common. Like how we enjoy motivational books, our point of view in life, we both love beaches and water activities(and never really love cities), our eagerness in trying everything new, etc. I told her about my plans to visit Tibet for my annual leave next year and also my interest in scuba diving, she was interested as well! If my bidding is approved, I will be joining her and her friends to Phillippines for scuba diving and.. well, maybe Tibet will have to postpone. Unless we are allowed to take no-pay leave. I'M NOT CURSING ANYBODY!

lunch!! with loads of annoying HUGE FAT flies!!

you callin' me FAT?!

boys will always be boys

i don't know where is this shot taken but it's beautiful. charles's shot + his cam

After lunch, we went for BANANA BOATTT! We didnt puke cos our excitement were holding our food. Angel, Nicole, Charles and Jone were the first set to go so Ezwan with his mighty long arms, helped us to take a group photo. And surprisingly he managed to do it! The first set fell a couple of times into the water before returning to the shore. When they came back, we asked how was it, Angel and Nicole both looking so washed up, "It's very painful lehhh!!"

Our turn next. Before the ride, Ezwan and Eugene briefed both of us(the girls) like how to stay on the boat despite the big waves and etc. Banana boat instructors. Hehehe and I was the only one to fall first! That fall was quite a killer and I stil have no idea what did I did on that gave me a bruise on my upper left arm(LEFT again!). After that, we stayed on the boat for quite long and can tell that the speedboat driver was trying his best to make us fall. In the end, one huge(OK not tsunami) unexpected wave came and all of us *SPLASH*!!

No photos were taken for our night activity(uh-hum) because it was too dark; star gazing in the beach. At first I thought everyone was very tired and they just wanna knocked out. I wasn't yet so I decided to go star gazing alone in the beach. Moments later, Angel, Carmen, Eugene and Charles came to the beach as well. We can only tell whether the rain is coming or not by looking at the clouds at night. There were light showers but they moved quickly. So what we did were just, sharing our pyschology tests(which I knew a couple), chatting and singing Chinese songs(of course I am NOT familiar with any of the songs they sang). Hahaha so while they were doing that, I was completely lost in my own world. Again.

The stars weren't so visible due to the clouds but we managed to find some on the beach! 'Blue stars' in the size of a sand on the ground. I'm serious! They looked so beautiful and the first time I saw it, I was so fascinated and picked it up. I picked one up and put it on Eugene's or Angel's hand - it really shone and twinkled like a star. According to Angel, she said they are actually chipped corals and this is the actual color of the whole coral! I was like, WHERE?! Lemme swim there!! I never knew anything like this!

Next morning, Jone woke me up and said he found a spot where there are a hell load of different fishes! Immediately I sprang from my bed and got changed. More fishies!!

Yes, that spot really has more fishes and so many of them were so attracted to the round thing attached to my bikini! I was pretty worried that the fishes will be attracted to my navel ring cos it shimmers in the water. Well at least this way I can see more fishes coming close to me, but not the big ones. One fish which is bigger than my face actually swam passed so close to my face that it gave me a shock and some sea water entered the tube! puiks puiks!

I only snorkelled for about 15 minutes plus because I didn't take my breakfast and was super hungry! So Angel and I went to the cafe before the rest joined us. Mmm.. Everything in the menu looks so tempting but I'm not gonna order Nasi Goreng cos it'll attract all the senor flies. They seemed to be more interested in Asian food cos they didn't come near my French toast and muesli. Racist flies.

me breakfast!!

i love this photo. KAIO KENNN!!! *dushhh*

Sunblock, SUNBLOCK - I applied it all over ma boday especially around my neck area and face to avoid getting the bikini line. I actually finished 2 bottles of my SPF 130 sunblock! But it was quite a small bottle. But they work and I didn't have the bikini line, around my neck. Everywhere else. BWAKAKKAKA 3 different color cos I wore 2 different bikinis. I was laughing so hard in the room when I saw my 3-toned bottom and it's such a TURN OFF! Hopefully everything will be back to normal before my next waxing appointment(I don't want my therapist to die of laughter *wobble*wobble*)

Here's an example. Of what the sun can do to you. Sun's victim; Jone.

sexay-ness has never looked this.. sexayy

ezwan and his almight hand

he is such a model. make love to the cammie!

Before the weather gone bad, Angel, Ezwan and I went for kayaking and it was my first time. Ezwan is a national canoe polo player(which explains the long, so bloody toned arms) so he got the single boat and Angel and I got the double boat. The front person(me) would usually be paddling for directions and the back one(Angel) will paddle for speed. We both were funnier than the clown fishes. We remained stationary even when we kept paddling towards Wan - who shook his head when he saw how far behind we were. HEY the waves got stronger and the rain came! We headed back to land and sat under the rain - it felt so refreshing and during my younger days in school, I enjoyed the feeling of how every drop hit on my face. Beats the feeling being in the rainforest shower.

After the rain stopped, Angel and Ezwan went on double and Eugene took the single. Jone, who enjoyed the company of his 2 photographers, Carmen and Nicole, went on with his photography session.

a self timer group shot, only person missin' is Capt. Chin.

jessica, i did moscow with her before

As dark was approaching, we proceed to our next itinery, night fishing. We got the whole boat to ourselves and as selfish as we may sound, LUCKILY. I didn't wanna join the fishing trip at first cos I've my own personal impression about fishing. But I'm always unlucky when it comes to fishing so I just join the group for the fun of it. I was praying, please do not eat my BAIT. I mean, EAT my bait, just don't get hooked!

Capt. Chin caught 2 fishes that night but I didn't manage take any shot of his catch

jessica caught one

nicole caught one too

and wan caught.. 2 fishes and a mating seahorse

i don't know who caught one more

Fishes caught will be grilled or barbecued and each of us ordered our own main course. I ordered penne pasta with cabornara and I'm such a pasta addict! Yes yes, again my sister's gonna tell me about my diet, "PASTA AGAIN?!"

It was our last night there and it was great dinner. Everyone was having a good time, under the clear sky with stars, Jessica contributed the music, dinner was really great.

We stayed till the restaurant closed but our energy have not gone down one bit. So we played the guessing game and the loser will have to dance. Of course, we realised that everyone has their own hidden talent. A round of applause to Capt. Chin, who is officially 2428's John Travolta! Hahaha it's just our code. Videos were taken but not uploaded. We don't kiss and tell!

Not only that, that night, we did so so many crazy things in the jetty, in this sheltered area, with this old Indian security guard man(whom I think got sick of us and amazed how did we get so paranoid). Bet he must be guessing, "It could be the caramel popcorn".

And yes, our 2428's anthem is Wonder Girls' 'Nobody'. It was truly the craziest night and my craziest set of crew!!

Suckyy.. The last day in Male, was a sad one. It rained the whole day so Angel and I couldn't do the wind surfing. We just had our breakfast in the cafe and then we went to the activity club.

jone's papaya juice with milk - beautiful isnt it?

Angel, Jone, Eugene and Ezwan were playing with the foosball table so Sandy and I played table tennis. I couldn't remember the last time I played table tennis, I think it would be during my primary days?

But I do remember why I stopped play table tennis. You really have to control your strength - and I am so bad at it! I can even hit the tennis ball out from the court!(I used to go for tennis lessons with my schoolmate and most of the balls I hit will definitely fly out from the court. My coach would then look at the ball, till it disappeared, turned back to me, "You should go for golf, my dear".)

Angel and Jone went back to rest so left me, Eugene, Ezwan and Sandy - occupying the table tennis and played for many many rounds! I learnt a few bits about table tennis and man, I've also learnt, once you hit the ball, RUN FAR FAR AWAY from your partner. I ran really far away cos for the first few times, all 3 of them actually knocked me(real hard). OH EXTRA bruises from the men. Mmm.. Sounds so sexy, yill I tell the real story behind the bruises.

* someone i know for very long, says, "i never like waking up alone on a big bed, that's why i'm stickin' to single mattress" *

Khalil Fong(方大同) - Love Song

2009-09-06T15:46:00.001+08:00

My current favorite! He looks so geeky - I likey~.. A breath of fresh air. Hope you will enjoy the song too =)

我写了这首歌
wo xie le zhe shou ge
I wrote this song
是一首简单歌
shi yi shou jian dan de
It's a simple one
不复杂也不难唱的那一种歌
bu fu za ye bu nan chang de na yi zhong ge
Not complicated and not hard to sing, that kind of song

这不是那种
zhe bu shi na zhong
This isn't that kind of
只剩下那钢琴的歌
zhi sheng xia na gang qin de ge
"There's only the piano left" kind of song (Jay Chou reference)
也不是那种
ye bu shi na zhong
And isn't that kind of
不能只是朋友的歌
bu neng zhi shi peng you de ge
"We can't only be friends" kind of song (David Tao reference)
这不是那种
zhe bu shi na zhong
This isn't that kind of
两个人的故事写在一本小说
liang ge ren de gu shi xie zai yi ben xiao shuo
The story of two people written in a novel
那小说里有谁会在花田里犯了错
na xiao shuo li you shei hui zai hua tian li fan le zuo
And in that novel who will make a mistake in the flower fields (Wang Lee Hom reference)
这就是一首写给你听的一个
zhe jiu shi yi shou xie gei ni ting de yi ge
This is written for you to hear, it's a

Love song
一直想写一首
yi zhi xiang xie yi shou
I've always wanted to write a
Love song
你给了我一首
ni gei le wo yi shou
You gave me a
Love song
那DJ会播放
na DJ hui bo fang
The Dj will play it
这也许会上榜
zhe ye xu hui shang bang
This might make it on the charts
如果我只想写出一首
ru guo wo zhi xiang xie chu yi shou
If I only wanted to write a
Love song
一直想写一首
yi zhi xiang xie yi shou
I've always wanted to write a
Love song
你给了我一首
ni gei le wo yi shou
You gave me a
Love song
你就像那夏天的凉风
ni jiu xiang na xia tian de liang feng
You're just like the summer's cool breeze
吹过我的面孔
cui guo wo de mian kong
Blowing past my face
真想飞
zhen xiang fei
Making me want to fly
在我心底
zai wo xin di
In my heart
你就是我的
ni jiu shi wo di
You're mine
想说爱你
xiang shou ai ni
I want to say I love you

我写了这首歌
wo xie le zhe shou ge
I wrote this song
是一首简单歌
shi yi shou jian dan de
It's a simple one
不复杂也不难唱的那一种歌
bu fu za ye bu nan chang de na yi zhong ge
Not complicated and not hard to sing, that kind of song

这不是那种童话里会遇见的歌
zhe bu shi na zhong tong hua li hui yu jian de ge
This isn't a song you would find in fairytale (Guang Liang reference)
也不是那种真真切切爱我的歌
ye bu shi na zhong zhen zhen qie qie ai wo de ge
And isn't a very vividly loving me kind of song (A-mei reference)
这不是那种
zhe bu shi na zhong
This isn't that kind of
两个人的故事写在一本小说
liang ge ren de gu shi xie zai yi ben xiao shuo
Two people's story written in a novel
那小说里有谁陪在看流星在降落
na xiao shuo li you shei pei zai kan liu xing zai jiang luo
And in that novel who will watch stars falling with each other (F4 reference)
这就是一首写给你听的一个
zhe jiu shi yi shou xie gei ni ting de yi ge
This is written for you to hear, it's a

Love song
一直想写一首
yi zhi xiang xie yi shou
I've always wanted to write a
Love song
你给了我一首
ni gei le wo yi shou
You gave me a
Love song
那DJ会播放
na DJ hui bo fang
The Dj will play it
这也许会上榜
zhe ye xu hui shang bang
This might make it on the charts
如果我只想写出一首
ru guo wo zhi xiang xie chu yi shou
If I only wanted to write a
Love song
一直想写一首
yi zhi xiang xie yi shou
I've always wanted to write a
Love song
你给了我一首
ni gei le wo yi shou
You gave me a
Love song
你就像那夏天的凉风
ni jiu xiang na xia tian de liang feng
You're just like the summer's cool breeze
吹过我的面孔
cui guo wo de mian kong
Blowing past my face
真想飞
zhen xiang fei
Making me want to fly
在我心底
zai wo xin di
In my heart
你就是我的
ni jiu shi wo di
You're mine
想说爱你
xiang shou ai ni
I want to say I love you

如果你是一幅画
ru guo ni shi yi fu hua
If you were a painting
你会是最珍贵的一幅画
ni hui shi zui zhen gui de yi fu hua
You would be the most valuable painting
如果那画家是梵高的话
ru guo na hua jia shi fan gao de hua
If that painter was Van Gogh
有何贵人前来又献花
you he gui ren qian lai you xian hua
If there's a person that comes and presents you with flowers
个个向你求嫁
ge ge xiang ni qiu jia
Everyone asks for your hand in marriage
梵高他说你们都该回家
fan gao ta shuo ta men dou gai hui jia
Van Gogh says that they should all go home

如果你是melody
ru guo ni shi melody
If you were a melody
就是最动听
jiu shi zui dong ting
You would be the most beautiful
所有的人都会跟着你起唱
suo you de ren dou hui gen zhe ni qi chang
Everyone would sing along with you
就算在夜晚你的心太亮
jiu suan zai ye wan ni de xin tai liang
Even in the night your heart is too bright
让我忘了月亮代表我的
rang wo wang le yue liang dai biao wo de
Causing me to forget that the moon represents...(reference to moon represents my heart)

Love song
一直想写一首
yi zhi xiang xie yi shou
I've always wanted to write a
Love song
你给了我一首
ni gei le wo yi shou
You gave me a
Love song
那DJ会播放
na DJ hui bo fang
The Dj will play it
这也许会上榜
zhe ye xu hui shang bang
This might make it on the charts
如果我只想写出一首
ru guo wo zhi xiang xie chu yi shou
If I only wanted to write a
Love song
一直想写一首
yi zhi xiang xie yi shou
I've always wanted to write a
Love song
你给了我一首
ni gei le wo yi shou
You gave me a
Love song
你就像那夏天的凉风
ni jiu xiang na xia tian de liang feng
You're just like the summer's cool breeze
吹过我的面孔
cui guo wo de mian kong
Blowing past my face
真想飞
zhen xiang fei
Making me want to fly
在我心底
zai wo xin di
In my heart
你就是我的
ni jiu shi wo di
You're mine
想说爱你
xiang shou ai ni
I want to say I love you